Tom's Blog

Belief Creates Experience

Posted by Tom Zuba on October 30, 2013 1 Comment


What you believe 

to be true about your grief 

will be your experience. 

You will create that experience for yourself.

If you believe you will never "recover" 

or "heal"

or "be happy again"

you will not. 


Do you understand that?

If you believe you are experiencing "complicated grief"

which needs a special secret code

or 16 or 24 or 133 step program

or super-duper pill 

to cope with, 

or survive,

or do whatever you'd like to do,

as opposed to mourning in a safe, sacred space

then that will be your experience. 


and only you

will determine the speed at which you heal

or if you heal at all.

The words you use
to describe your grief journey

tell the story

of whether or not you will heal.

What story are you telling?


and the world?

Choose your words consciously

and carefully.

Create the experience you want to live.

Now you know.

If these words resonate with you, and you'd like to explore A New Way to Do Grief with me one-one-one I coach clients all over the world using Skype and FaceTime.  You may email me at to discuss details.


My book, Permission to Mourn: A New Way to Do Grief” Is available at amazon: click for Tom's book.  To learn more visit, join our Healing Circle on Facebook (, follow me on Twitter @ TomZuba, at YouTube and find me on Pinterest.


Comments (1 Comment)

Hi Tom, I’ve read your book and loved it! So many things hit close to home for me. I was wondering why you put “complicated grief” in quotes? Do you believe there is such a thing?

Posted by Jackie Cruz on January 26, 2017

Post Comment