It's Okay to Exlpode

The world needs you at your
best
most radiant self.

And the road many of us are on 
to get there
includes the death of someone we love
dearly.

Do not.
Do not.
Do not.

Take the fake, phony, destructive detour
of
“I’m fine.”
“I’m strong”
“I’m okay.”
that is rooted in
pretending
suppressing
repressing
and denying
but supported by innocent ignorant
family, friends, colleagues, coworkers
and others who simply just don’t get it.

They don’t get grief.
They haven’t been here yet.
Or if they have, 
they did it the old way
because they were either too frightened
or didn’t even know
there is a new way
to do grief.

Go ahead and
kick
scream
wail
bitch
moan
groan
complain
and foam at the mouth
if that is real
authentic
true 
and feels alive 
for you.

Enter the darkness.
Allow yourself to feel it.
All of it.
And then push it out.
And up.

Hold none of it in.

Kicking, screaming, wailing, bitching, moaning, groaning, complaining and foaming at the mouth is a normal, natural, healthy human response
when the person we love most in the world
dies.

But most of us have forgotten that.

So kick, scream, wail, bitch, moan, groan, complain and foam at the mouth as much as you like.
As much as you need.
Do it.
Do it.
Give yourself permission to do it.

And if you’re like me.
In time.
In due time.
You will come to the place when you cannot
simply can’t
kick
scream
wail
bitch
moan
groan
complain
and foam at the mouth
one more time.
Try as you may.

Because you pushed it all out.
For now.

And you exhale
and look around
and wonder
what do I do now
on my road to being radiant? 

What is my next step?

To learn more about my first book click: Permission to Mourn: A New Way to Do Grief." To learn more follow me on Twitter @ TomZuba, at YouTube and find me on Pinterest.

If you’d like to explore this further, or any other facet of your grief journey, I work with people one-on-one.  If you’re in the Rockford, IL area, we can do that in person.  If you’re out of the local area, we can Zoom, Skype or Facetime.  If you'd like to work with me, please email me at tomzuba@aol.com and we can schedule a session and discuss cost.

There is a new way to do grief
and we must become the teachers.