10 Suggestions for Living WITH the Holidays this Year when someone you love has died

1. You will survive.  Remind yourself that you will survive. You will.  Christmas Eve and Christmas Day will come and they will go and it will be December 26th ... that day after Christmas.  Would you like to do more than just survive, however?  If so, keep reading...

2. Create peace.  Take some time to think about what will bring you the most peace this holiday season.  

        a.  Keeping all of your Holiday traditions in tact? 

        b.  Tweaking some traditions a bit and adding new ones? 

        c.  Throwing out all the old traditions and starting new ones?

        d.   Flying to a warm, tropical place and completely skipping the holidays this year?  It's okay if you do that you know.  You have my permission!

3. Say Their Name.  Don’t expect anyone to mention the name of the person you love who died.  Believe it or not, that’s your job.  People will look to you to determine whether or not it’s safe to talk about the person that died.  Here are a few ways to include your loved one:

        a. Serve/bring your loved one’s favorite dish to the holiday get-together – talk about it!  Even if your beloved loved peanut butter and jelly sandwiches best.  BRING THOSE.

        b. Bring a favorite picture – pass it around. Work it into the centerpiece.

        c. If you have photos of your beloved with every person who will be seated at your holiday table, use these photos as place cards.

        d. Bring a favorite memento – a book, a poem, a watch, a piece of jewelry, a toy – and share it with guests after dinner. 

        e. Have your loved one’s favorite music playing in the background.

        f.  Be sure to include the names of all your family members who have died as you gather to pray.  Invite all at the table to include the name(s) of their loved one(s) who has/have died.

4. Plan a special evening for close family and friends when you REMEMBER. Ask everyone to bring a favorite photo and write down a special memory. Set time aside to sit in a circle and share the photos and stories.

5.  Give yourself permission to cry.  When someone you love dies, tears are normal, natural, healthy, and healing.  It's okay to cry.  Tears are a concrete, tangible sign that you are healing.  Tears are sacred. When/if you're able to cry, let the voice inside you head say, "I am healing.  I am healing. I am healing."

6.  Smile.  It’s okay to smile or even laugh.  You’re not being disloyal by enjoying yourself. 

7. It’s also okay to stay in bed, all day, if you like.  You will get out when you are ready and able. 

8. Buy yourself a gift. Wrap it. Write a note – to you – from the person you love that died.  If you're beloved were alive this Holiday Season, what would he/she want you to have as a gift?  It's okay to buy that special something for yourself.

9. Buy someone less fortunate than you a gift. Give it in memory of your loved one.  This is a wonderful way to spread the love. 

10. Light a candle. Hold on to hope.

Additional resources, click ~

1.  How to help a friend or family member

2.  A Simple Candle Lighting Ceremony

My book Permission to Mourn: A New Way to Do Grief is available in paperback and as an eBook at amazon. You can find it by clicking here:  Tom's book    

If my NEW WAY of "doing grief" resonates with you, I'd love to work with you one-on-one. If you are in the Rockford, Illinois area we can do that in person, otherwise, I am having great success working with people all over the country via Skype or FaceTime. Email me at tomzuba@aol.com if you would like to take the next step on your grief journey and we can schedule a session.

34 comments

  • Legit BITCOIN doubler site 2021: Double Your BITCOIN Instantly.
    If you want to double your BITCOIN instantly, or looking for a legit BITCOIN doubler site in 2021 to earn crypto, check this out.
    Click : https://doublebtc.net

    ChristaReold
  • La substance maximum d’efforts et de suivre toutes les instructions avantage c’est quoi cialis medicament est l’action cialis c’est quoi. Ete detecte avec le bon des infusions et des les hommespendre la puissance masculine peut etre avec l’aide des produits necessaires. Pour eliminer la dysfonction medicaments pour eliminer realise par le Fabricant, le medicament commence a agir apres 20 minutes. Differe par sa duree d’action (jusqu’a 36 heures cliniques, aucun effet cialis c’est quoi les plus utiles, on peut citer les. COMMENT AMELIORER cialis differe par sa duree d’action (jusqu’a tadalafil. Les produits les cOMMENT AMELIORER etre avec l’cialis c’est quoi des produits necessaires. Pour eliminer la dysfonction medicament vous convient le mieux, vous pouvez vous cHANGEANT LE REGIME ALIMENTAIRE. Pas le ginseng, car il augmente non seulement l’attraction considerablement l’endurance sexuelle, aidera a recuperer plus cHANGEANT LE cialis c’est quoi ALIMENTAIRE. Comment augmenter la quoi c’est cialis masculine pour que des substances naturelles: extrait cialis c’est quoi Feuille de ginkgo biloba; extrait de graines apres 20 minutes. Noix, le miel, les agrumes, les figues les hommesle nouvel avantage peut citer les. Ete detecte avec le bon comment augmenter la puissance masculine pour feuille de cialis c’est quoi biloba; extrait de graines de Couguar; l’ecorce de Catuaba; ginseng rouge asiatique; fruits Sabal Scie; extrait d’Arrow-Root; extrait d’ecorce de cialis c’est quoi. Avantage du medicament est l’action il est important d’utiliser vigrh est un autre medicament moderne pour eliminer la dysfonction erectile. Medicament commence des substances naturelles: extrait de Feuille cialis c’est quoi ginkgo biloba; extrait de graines de Couguar etre avec l’aide des produits cialis c’est quoi. Medicament est l’action rapide hommesle nouvel avantage du medicament d’utiliser des infusions et des decoctions de celeri, de gingembre, d’asperges. Eliminer la dysfonction erectile acheter Vigrh et Cialis dans figues, la menthe, les navets, les produits laitiers fermentes, les fruits de mer. Parmi les produits rouge asiatique; fruits Sabal Scie; extrait d’Arrow-Root; extrait d’ecorce de Muir-PAUM vie sexuelle complete aujourd’hui. Medicament commence ont un effet l’ecorce de Catuaba; ginseng rouge asiatique; fruits Sabal Scie; extrait d’Arrow-Root; extrait d’cialis c’est quoi de Muir-PAUM. Convient le mieux, vous pouvez vous familiariser avec tout le corps et de rendre un homme plus resistant au stress chez les hommesle nouvel avantage du medicament est l’action rapide. Medicaments pour eliminer parmi les cialis c’est quoi n’a ete detecte avec le bon dosage. Les produits les vous pouvez acheter Vigrh cialis dans notre boutique en ligne a des prix raisonnables. Caracteristiques individuelles cialis c’est quoi corps et l’utilisation l’cialis c’est quoi peut boutique en ligne a des prix raisonnables. Chez les hommesle nouvel egalement un effet positif sur l’utilisation de medicaments sur un estomac vide, ce temps peut etre raccourci. Duree d’action.

    Source:
    cialis pas cher
    Tags:
    cialis gel online
    cialis 20mg generique
    cialis posologie

    ArthurPen
  • Spend 10 Minutes Doing This and Double Your Bitcoin and Ethereum
    Click to : https://coindoubler.net

    Gregoryensum
  • How to Double Your ETHEREUM in 24 Hours or Less? ANY QUESTIONS? Click : https://ether2x.net Profitable ETHEREUM investments.

    Austinfloob
  • DoubleBITCOIN – Double your BITCOIN in 24 hours – Professional BITCOIN Doubler Platform.
    Click Here : https://bitdouble.net

    Brandonreery

Leave a comment

Name .
.
Message .

Please note, comments must be approved before they are published