"Deliberately Crossing Over"

I want to share these words that Judy Rae posted on my Facebook page ~ "my son Ryan who deliberately crossed over to the other side earlier this year." I wrote Judy back and said ~ 'I LOVE your language "my son Ryan who deliberately crossed over to the other side earlier this year." I have never read those words before. Are they your own ... or did someone share them with you? They feel so very healing to me.'

Judy responded: "These are my own words. I had to find a way to say it that reflected my beliefs and did not always carry a tragic, unforgiving, "cut-off-from-God" energy. I did this for myself, because I decided that I did not want to say "my son committed suicide" for the rest of my life, because those words did not reflect the energy and healing I am intending for my life going forward, not to mention the possibilities for healing and growth for Ryan's soul from the other side. I'm sure there will be many times I will have to answer a question about my son and refer to this, and the person who is going to be hearing these words out of my own mouth for the rest of my life will be...ME! So, for now, these are the words I am using, and I am also reminding myself that, although I can be considerate of others feelings -- how other people hear it is not my responsibility."

We are truly all connected. The night before I read Judy's post, in my presentation to the Happiness Club, I talked about the power of our words to create our experiences ... and suggested that we can reframe and reposition our relationship to past events in our life by changing the words we use when speaking and thinking about them.

What a beautiful example Judy has given us of doing just that.

Three additional posts about suicide ~ please click:

A New Way to Look at Suicide

Have You Considered Suicide?

One Mother Shares After Her Own Son’s Suicide


  • Yes the words we use I think is powerful and how we tell it, to whom we decide to tell it and how often especially alittle further down the journey. We basically choose. Yhank you Judy Rae.

    Diane Pignato
  • The son of my friend’s partner has just, as you say “deliberately crossed over” This has been very useful for me as a start for trying to understand how she may be feeling.

    Christine Haworth

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