"Transforming the Way We Do Grief" downloadable VIDEO PROGRAM

After my 18-month-old daughter Erin died in 1990, like so many, I tried doing grief the old way. Frankly, I didn't know any better. So, I hurried back to work. I tried to keep busy. I did everything I could to take my mind off of "it" ~ including repressing, denying and trying to pretend away all of my feelings and emotions. What I was actually doing, in retrospect,
was creating pain on top of pain on top of unbearable pain.

 It's what we do. 
No one has ever suggested another way.  Until now!

When my wife Trici died in 1999, once again faced with the daunting task of moving through my grief, I decided to try and do grief a different way.  The old way hadn't worked for me.
What did I have to lose? 
I knew I could heal. I had done it before. 

And when my 13-year-old son Rory died in 2005, because this was my third time navigating the grief journey, I became an active participant.  
With intention and focused action I discovered a new way to do grief.

I am so happy to share all that I've learned with you.

My intention, in offering this 3-part Video Program, 
is to help you heal.

My intention is to help make the unbearable, more bearable for you.  My intention is to help you heal.  In this 3-part video program, which you will be able to upload straight to your computer and view over and over again, I share with you much of what I've learned about healing during my 20+ year journey with grief.  

I talk about:  


The Many Expressions of Grief


The Difference between Grief and Mourning

The Role Mourning plays in Healing


The Gifts of Denial 

How YOU can Create a Safe, Sacred Space where your own healing can occur 

How YOU can Create your own Healing Plan

Questions and Answers Following my Presentation

I've also created a Companion e-Workbook, that you'll upload to your computer.  It includes all the definitions, slides and quotes I use in this program.  It also includes prompts and space for you to reflect on the information I present.  Finally, I assist you in creating your own Healing Plan with intention and focused action. 

To Purchase this Video Program (3 videos, over 80 minutes long, that you'll upload to your computer) and the 17-page Companion e-Workbook  Click here

"I can highly recommend this Video Program as I just started it last Sunday. Tom leads you through each video with his handbook - so effective. Since Sundays are such a depressing and sad day for me, this program has helped me get to the core of my grief. I can write out my feelings, go for a power walk along the river and reflect and remember my wonderful son. I truly believe physical activity is also a key to working though one's grief - do a prayer walk, talk to yourself, talk to your loved one, think of what you will write in your journal and then go back home and write!"

Here is an overview of the material I present in
Part 1, Part 2, Part 3 of this Video Program
and the Companion e-Workbook:

Part 1 (35 minutes)

Part 1 introduces you to the definitions of grief, mourning and denial that I use.  I share many of the often surprising and confusing ways that grief expresses itself.  I explain that once I decided to look at my own grief journey with this understanding of grief, mourning, and denial it became clear to me what my next step was, and my next step, and the step after that.  Using these tools, you too can become an active participant in your own grief journey.  You too, can figure out what your next step is.

A sneak peak at Part 1

Part 2 (27 minutes)

Part 2 of the program teaches you how to create a safe, sacred space; a space where YOUR healing can occur.  I also offer concrete steps you can take to create your own healing plan.  While some aspects of the grief journey are certainly unique to the individual experiencing it based on the relationships that existed prior to the death, and the actual circumstances of the death, I believe that we all have much more in common in our grief than most realize.  You only discover this truth when you are in a safe, sacred space where you can communicate from the heart with another person.  You can each create this space for yourself and for others.  You can also actively participate in your healing by consciously creating a Healing Plan with intention and focused action.  

A sneak peak at Part 2


Part 3 (20 minutes) 

Part 3 is the Question and Answer section following my presentation.  Questions include:

What do I do when family and friends want me to grieve differently?

What do you say when someone asks "How are you?" or "How many children do you have?"

How do I make peace with my life?

Can everyone heal?

What if my tears make someone uncomfortable?

A sneak peak at Part 3

17 page Companion e-Workbook

The Companion e-Workbook includes all the definitions, slides and quotes I use in my presentation.  It also includes prompts and space for you to reflect on the information I present. Finally, I assist you in creating your own Healing Plan with intention and focused action.  

To Purchase this Video Program (3 videos, over 80 minutes long, that you'll upload to your computer) and the 17-page Companion e-Workbook  Click here

I believe there is a NEW WAY to do grief ~ 
a new way rooted in hope that offers the promise of a new, full, joy-filled life.

You are within minutes of viewing your very own copy of "Transforming the Way We Do Grief Worldwide" and your Companion e-Workbook.


To Purchase this Video Program (3 videos, over 80 minutes long, that you'll upload to your computer) and the 17-page Companion e-Workbook  Click here




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  • Tom, I really hope that I meet with you one on one, I need to open up to somebody that will understand me, Sotty, I’m crying, I lost my 21 yr Son and a year after I lost my husband at 32 yrs. married , I have a daughter left. I am dieing inside , I fake it everybody, do not talk to anybody on how I feel, belong to Compassion Friends Support group, big help. I am so lonely and Sad. I was very angry with God. I began to talk to him again but then my husband died, now I’m hurt with God, but I do talk and pray everyday. I have been thru hospitals for years with my son then 5 months with my husband I have been thru so much that I still don’t understand how I got thru this. My son went Thru a Mal practice my husband, I was told by Doctor that my husband will survive- he didn’t he died. What I went thru with my son and Doctors that lied to us so much, they killed him. I am in so much pain, I try hard everyday to live and try to get thru, I have good and strong days and sad, lonely weak days. I still cry lots.

    Olivia Trigerous
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  • Is there a CD version that I can purchase…it would be a powerful tool to use for review and reflection while driving.


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