Tom's Blog

Ten Years Later

Posted by Tom Zuba on May 22, 2015 5 Comments

TEN YEARS LATER:  10 Things I’ve Learned Since My Most Amazing Son Rory Brennan Zuba Finished His Earthly Work and Left His Physical Body

1.  Consciously choose to remember that you are light. Choose light over darkness, and
love over fear. Say yes as often as you can. Reach for the highest vision and version of your life and allow it to unfold. Be grateful.

2.  Forgive everyone always for everything. This is so hard to do. Do it.

3.  Donʼt take anything personally. It is never about you. It is always about the other person. The way I treat you is a reflection of the way I treat myself. I want to love myself so much that I will always be kind to you.

4.  In every moment we are both student and teacher, and every person/ animal/thing/circumstance we encounter is both our student and our teacher. Always. Our physical body is our God-given barometer. Use it.

5.  We were not born to suffer. We were born to be radiant.  Not in spite of ___________; but because of ________________.

6.  We are always being lovingly held. Always.

7.  We must first give what it is we want to receive.

8.  Grief is one of our greatest teachers; grief is not the enemy.

9.  Never give up. Ever. Rest often. Ask for help. Do not give up.

10. One of the reasons you were born is to fall in love with yourself again, or for the first time, as the Divine loves you. Donʼt forget that. Ever.

Those are my 10 Things.

Comments (5 Comments)

I’ve only saw 1-3 of your videos the two that stands out are
1. Forgiveness and 2. How people treat you is a reflection of how they treat themselves.really got to view the rest Thank You

Posted by Kim carr on July 21, 2016

I love these! I miss my boys, but when I think of all the people they are helping and all the lives they have touched, I am so grateful that I was chosen to be their mom. Each loss is its own experience and can be so very different in its complexity. Chris was my youngest and he was sick from lymphoma. Hetaught me about forgiveness and how death can be the most loving, connected experience you can ever bear witness to. Tom, my oldest that died 4 years later, was gone in an instant. A gunshot wound to the head. He was on the autism spectrum and he had so much difficulty with social cues and managing his emotions. My firstborn and all the pain he suffered, trying to fit into a world that viewed him as difficult and violent. It has taken another 4 years, with a lot of mental and physical obstacles, but all that is behind me. I see him as all things and he is everywhere now. He can soar like the Phoenix that he is and it is a peaceful, warm feeling to think of him in this way. Nothing is holding him back now!! I am feeling so grateful for what grief has taught me about truly living to the fullest and appreciating EVERYTHING it has to offer.

Posted by Cyndi Renhardt on April 30, 2016

Next week 9/24 will be two years since I lost my daughter to suicide. I am heart broken more than words can say. I am retired so I have had lots of time to mourn. I cried for literally four months. Hard, loud and sometimes screaming.
I still cry most every day and she is in my thoughts almost all the time.
She was 43 and has two adorable daughters. They do give me joy and I am grateful they are in my life. I do things with my family and a few friends but tend to isolate.
I love my church and my Lord but I can’t seem to go to church on Sundays.
I don’t seem to have the energy and not ready to look like I am ok!
I have read grief books; gone to a griefshare group; and have gone to some compassionate friends meetings. All were good and helped.
Next I think is private grief counseling. Any words of encouragement would be helpful!!

Posted by Patty on September 17, 2015

Someone had sent me your link, which I saved but didn’t look at until now. I randomly clicked on an entry and received advice that is hopeful to me. As my son Eric’s 29th birthday approaches on 7/25, which will be the 5th without him here with us, I guess I am ready to face grief a different way. Thank you

Posted by Pam on July 23, 2015

This is so powerful and just what I needed to hear. thank you for sharing your wisdom and insight.

Posted by Deb Gille on June 30, 2015

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