Suggestion #9 ~ Examining Your Beliefs

This is a tough one for so many of us.

Change can be difficult.

Especially, in light of the death of someone we love,

when it feels like everything has changed too, too much.

We cling to what we are familiar with.

To feel safe

in a world that feels anything but safe.


But the truth is

that we have each inhaled



that cause us pain.

Beliefs about life

and death

and God

and how the world works.


And we hear these beliefs repeated


and over

and over


And we convince ourself that they are true.


They are not.

But they are painful.


If our goal is to make peace with life

we must slowly

and methodically

trace back

our feelings and emotions

to the beliefs that they are rooted in.


Because we are human

this usually doesn’t happen

until the pain we are experiencing

is so excruciatingly debilitating

that we scream

out loud or in silence

“enough is enough.”

I can’t live like this one more minute.

There must be another way.


There is.


Suggestion #9 of 10

to help you

create a New You 

in this New Year.


#9 Commit to identify and question all your beliefs that are causing you pain.  

Unless you want to marinate in pain.  You, and only you, get to decide what you believe.  It’s possible (probable) that many of your unexamined beliefs are causing you great pain.  Beliefs that may include: 


He shouldn’t have died.  

She died too young.

I was robbed.  

I could have saved him.  

I will never be happy again.  

Life is no longer worth living.  

There will always be a hole in my heart.

Life is unfair.

Death is the enemy.


Replace these painful beliefs with life-affirming beliefs.


What is one belief

that you are holding on to

that is causing you great pain?


Are you willing to take a closer look at the belief

and ask yourself

“Is this true?”

Do I know

beyond the shadow of a doubt

that this is true?


If you’d like to explore this further, or any other facet of your grief journey, I work with people one-on-one.  If you’re in the Rockford, IL area, we can do that in person.  If you’re out of the local area, we can Skype or Facetime.  If you'd like to work with me, please email me at and we can schedule a session and discuss cost.

I also want to make sure you aware of my Video Program “Transforming the Way We Do Grief.”  The intention I set when I created this 3-part Video Program, is to help you heal ... to help make the unbearable, more bearable. Through this program, I share with you much of what I've learned about healing during my 20+ year journey with grief.  To learn more click:  "Transforming the Way We Do Grief.”

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