We Dance Between Both Worlds
The death of someone we love
cracks us open.
Big time.
It’s supposed to.
It did me.
And in the beginning...
which varies from person-to-person
and has no “proper” time
and can be a few days,
or a week or two,
or a month,
or many months,
or a year,
or more,
if you’re lucky...
and in the beginning,
for some (many?),
we dance between both worlds.
I did.
Did you?
Are you?
Still?
We dance between this physical world
and the world of Spirit
(or whatever you choose to call it)
when our beloved dies.
When she took her last breath.
When he left his body.
(For clearly, anyone who has seen a dead body knows that the essence, the energy, the life-force of our beloved is no longer contained in their physical body.)
When our beloved died.
A part of us died, too.
With them.
We left.
Too.
This physical plane.
To be with them.
And in the beginning,
we dance between both worlds.
Where all things are possible.
It’s during time when it’s important,
and possible,
and so often frightening,
to question everything.
Everything.
Because it’s all been cracked.
Open.
It no longer matters (really)
what our parents, our family, our teachers, our priests and ministers, and friends believe.
What matters is what we believe.
What I believe.
What you believe.
Because when someone we love dies,
we don’t know.
What we believe.
Anymore.
Really.
About life,
and love,
and meaning,
and purpose,
and why-was-I born,
and why-did-she-die,
and could-I-have-saved-him?
And death.
We don’t know what we believe anymore about death.
Because someone we love so much has gone and done it.
Dies.
We question everything we once held true and dear about death.
Beliefs we clung to without really ever having to think about them.
Until now.
We inhaled what was passed on.
But not anymore.
We just can’t.
So we question.
Everything.
Is there a God?
If there is, what is he/she/it/they?
If there is a God, what did he/she/it/they have to do with the death of this person I love.
So much.
And do we still exist?
In some form or another,
after we die?
And is there a heaven?
If so, what is it and where is it?
And does everyone go there, or just some people?
And are they still aware of us?
Here on earth?
And if they are, can they communicate with us?
And we with them?
If we’re lucky,
we dance back-and-forth,
until all the questions are answered.
But it’s not easy.
Because there are so many forces that want to pull us back.
Here.
To be just like them.
They want us to go back to the way we were.
Before.
But we’re different now.
Someone we love has died.
And we’ve been cracked open.
Big time.
So we dance back and forth.
Between both worlds.