Tom's Blog

Victim or Participant? Your choice.

Posted by Tom Zuba on May 02, 2013 0 Comments
The death of someone I dearly love cracks me open. As the days, and weeks, and months unfold ... I either become the victim ... or the participant. The participant comes to a point where he/she is able to say, "I am not going to waste this exper...

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How Do I Start to Heal?

Posted by Tom Zuba on April 05, 2013 0 Comments
In order to heal we must MOURN. We must push all of our grief up and out. Contrary to the old way of doing grief - denying, suppressing and stuffing our feelings and emotions - we must find ways to express, feel and release all of the emotions bub...

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Building Bridges of Reconnection When People Mourn Differently

Posted by Tom Zuba on February 12, 2013 4 Comments
I recently received this message from a mother who is feeling disconnected from her daughter one year after the suicide of her son.  Hello Tom. I have a question for you and your readers. My 27-year old son passed one year ago, and I find tha...

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Reincarnation and organ donors

Posted by Tom Zuba on February 07, 2013 8 Comments
I recently received this question: "I have a question for you, I need help in trying to explain something to a broken hearted mother, her son died about a year ago the gun he was cleaning accidentally went off and killed him. She donated his eyes ...

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When Death is So Very Public

Posted by Tom Zuba on December 11, 2012 0 Comments
Once again our community has been rocked by death in a very public way. This time it is the sudden deaths of Pilot Andy Olesen and flight nurses Jim Dillow and Karen Hollis in what hospital officials said was the first crash in the 25-year hist...

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10 Things You Can Do to help make this holiday season more bearable for someone you know who is learning to live with the death of someone they love

Posted by Tom Zuba on December 11, 2012 1 Comment
1. Say their name. Mention the person who died by name. Your family member/friend is already sad. Nothing you can do will make them sadder ... unless they think you have completely forgotten the person they love who has died. 2. Extend an invitat...

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10 Tips for Living WITH the Holidays this Year when someone you love has died

Posted by Tom Zuba on December 11, 2012 4 Comments
1. Remind yourself that you will survive. You will. 2. Think about what will bring you the most peace this holiday season.         a.  Keeping all traditions in tact?          b...

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"Deliberately Crossing Over"

Posted by Tom Zuba on November 19, 2012 0 Comments
I want to share these words that Judy Rae posted on my Facebook page ~ "my son Ryan who deliberately crossed over to the other side earlier this year." I wrote Judy back and said ~ 'I LOVE your language "my son Ryan who deliberately crossed over ...

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One Mother Shares After Her Own Son's Suicide

Posted by Tom Zuba on November 18, 2012 3 Comments
I met Madeline Sharples online, through Facebook. Madeline is a gifted writer and is dedicating her life to bringing suicide out of the closet and into the light.  I invited Madeline to share some of her experience, knowledge and wisdom with ...

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A Simple Candle Lighting Ceremony

Posted by Tom Zuba on November 16, 2012 5 Comments
My friend Lynne shared this Candle Lighting Ceremony with me quite a few years ago.  It is written by Nancy M. Moeller, L.S.W., C.A.D.C, 1993 ©.  It is a simple and beautiful ceremony that I hope you will consider adding to your holiday ...

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