Posted by Tom Zuba on December 01, 2013 0 Comments
1. 21 + 1 Days of Consciously Choosing to Lean Into Life and Healing: Click http://www.tomzuba.com/collections/upcoming-events/products/living-with-the-holidays-2013
2. 10 Tips for Living WITH the Holidays: Click http://www.tomzuba.com/blogs/toms-blog/7031988-10-tips-for-living-with-the-holidays-this-year-when-someone-you-love-has-died
3. Living WITH the Holidays 2013, Click:
4. Video Interview: Living WITH the Holidays
Part 1: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wYW32YNGsbQ
Part 2: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3-tx53CHeyw
Part 3: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RvrEmM7F9IQ
5. "Happy Holidays !@#$%^&*&^%": Honoring the Kid Inside to Create the Holiday YOU Want”
Part 1: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U0WrevAEY9U&list=UU5P2JX7KcpD5dIiBWm7-xVw
Part 2: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tsImgPrGO04&feature=c4-overview&list=UU5P2JX7KcpD5dIiBWm7-xVw
Part 3: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fXIWwXZd93I
6. Great interview by FB friend Lisa Rousseau. Click: Compassionate Friends
7. I work with folks one-on-one in person, or via Skype or Facetime. Email me at email@example.com for more information.
1. 21 + 1 Days of Consciously Choosing to Lean Into Life and Healing: Click http://www.tomzuba.com/collections/upcoming-events/products/living-with-the-holidays-20132. 10 Tips for Living WITH the Holidays: Click http://www.tomzuba.com/blogs...
Posted by Tom Zuba on November 12, 2013 0 Comments
You will never know how I feel.
In the same way that I will never know how you feel.
How could I?
I did not love him the way you did.
I did not care for her the way you did.
I did not create and carry and coddle
the dreams you held
for your life together.
The dreams that have been
and are now bleeding all over the floor
of the Universe.
I will never really know how you feel.
But if you decide to trust me
which must be hard-earned
and not given
to just anyone
But if you decide to trust me
I can accompany you on your journey.
And bit by bit
piece by piece
lots of time
I can get a glimpse
of what it just might be like to be you
drowning in the pain
of the truth
that someone you love
I would never say I know how you feel.
How could I?
I am not you.
It was not me loving.
It was you.
In the same way that you will never how I feel.
How could you?
But I can make a space for you.
Next to me.
When I am ready.
And you can make space for me.
Next to you.
When you are ready.
And we can accompany each other.
If even for a moment, or tow.
And that will help us heal, too.
You will never know how I feel.Not really. In the same way that I will never know how you feel.How could I?I did not love him the way you did.I did not care for her the way you did.I did not create and carry and coddlethe dreams you heldfor your l...
Posted by Tom Zuba on November 05, 2013 0 Comments
On March 30, 2005, I wrote the following in my Journal:
I woke up,
looked at my watch
and it was 2:22 ~
it startled me
and I wondered if I had seen it correctly,
so I checked again.
Rory died on 2.22.
It felt like a sign of connection.
I have been asking you to come thru ~
to connect with me -
perhaps you did?
Thank you sweetie, please do it again.”
Just 36 days earlier
my most amazing 13-year-old son Rory
died on 2-22-05
following a 6-month odyssey with brian cancer.
Rory loved numbers,
and black holes
and parallel universes
and time travel
and Albert Einstein.
It was clear to me,
that his work here was complete.
So, he left his physical body
and was on to the next adventure.
About a week later,
I woke up again.
In the middle of the night.
I checked my watch.
With a huge smile
and a knowing in my heart,
I said, “I get it.
I really do.
We will connect with each other through the numbers “222.”
And we have.
Over and over again,
in ways that continue
almost 9 years later
and delight me.
That first New Year’s Eve,
after Rory died,
I took Sean to Disney World.
To get away.
To create new memories.
To have fun.
Not only would it be our first holiday season without Rory physically present,
but that New Year’s Day was the 7th anniversary of my wife Trici’s death.
And January 2nd
would have been my daughter Erin’s 17th birthday,
had she lived.
It’s a complicated time of year for us.
I booked our room at one of the many, many Disney hotel properties.
I can’t say I was 100% surprised
when the man at the desk handed me my room key and said,
“Welcome to Disney World, Mr. Zuba.
You’ll be in Room 222.”
Rory was with us.
Even at Disney.
I have seen 222 everywhere.
On the sides of buses,
on license plates.
It’s even tattooed on Maroon 5’s Adam Levine’s left arm.
About a year and a half ago I began to wonder.
I connect with Rory through the numbers “222,”
but what about Erin and Trici?
Where are they in all of this?
And then it came to me.
Erin’s birthday is January 2.
Trici’s birthday is May 22.
I believe that the three of them are home.
In the presence of the Divine,
It is not just Rory present in 222.
It’s all three of them.
And when I have completed the work I came to do.
I’ll return home.
I’ll join them.
And so you will you.
Now you know.
On March 30, 2005, I wrote the following in my Journal: “Last night, I woke up, looked at my watch and it was 2:22 ~ it startled me and I wondered if I had seen it correctly, so I checked again. 2:22. Rory died on 2.22. It felt like a sign of ...
Posted by Tom Zuba on October 30, 2013 0 Comments
It is hard for me to type this over and over
but I will do it one more time.
What you believe
to be true about your grief
will be your experience.
You will create that experience for yourself.
If you believe you will never "recover"
you will not.
Do you understand that?
If you believe you are experiencing "complicated grief"
which needs a special secret code
or 16 or 24 or 133 step program
or super-duper pill
to cope with,
or do whatever you'd like to do,
as opposed to mourning in a safe, sacred space
then that will be your experience.
and only you
will determine the speed at which you heal
or if you heal at all.
Now you know.
It is hard for me to type this over and overbut I will do it one more time. What you believe to be true about your grief will be your experience. You will create that experience for yourself.If you believe you will never "recover" or "heal"you wil...
Posted by Tom Zuba on October 15, 2013 0 Comments
How do I heal?
Do you want to know?
So you can
and participate in
during the day.
Everything is energy.
And energy vibrates.
Many of the feelings
that are expressions of grief
vibrate at low levels.
I could go on.
But I think you get it.
The task at hand
if you want to heal
and a part of you does
or you would not be reading my words
is to raise your energetic vibrational level.
This is not
This is truth.
Beauty vibrates at a high frequency.
And energy is affected
by other energy it encounters.
You already know this
and have experienced it
times in your life.
You’ve felt the incredible lift
at the end of the game
when your team won
You’ve felt it on your wedding day
when you put on that dress
you were radiating.
You’ve felt it
when that first crocus of winter
stuck it’s head out
and reached for the sun.
You’ve felt it
when you heard the symphony
or the soloist
or your favorite rock band.
And in the same way
you’ve felt it when you
entered the room
full of those
who suck the life out of people.
and dooms-day believers.
at a high
You must seek it out.
beautiful to you?
Find it today.
And bask in it.
Drink it in.
Marinate in it.
Literally open your arms and your heart to that which you find beautiful.
And allow your vibrational frequency
to match that of
You have felt it before.
Allow yourself to feel it today.
You now know one concrete
way to heal.
How do I heal?Do you want to know?So you canconsciouslyaddand participate in concrete, doable, tangiblehealing activitiesduring the day.This day?Everything is energy.And energy vibrates.Many of the feelingsand emotionsthat are expressions of grief...
Posted by Tom Zuba on October 04, 2013 0 Comments
I launched my website, www.TomZuba.com, on February 22, 2006
the first anniversary of my 13-year-old son Rory’s
“ascension into heaven”
as I sometimes imagine the explosiveness of his soul,
leaving his physical body.
for over 7 years now
I have been almost daily
working to help other people heal.
So you will not have to endure
for the pain
(I could go on, but you’ve either experienced it, are experiencing it now and know exactly what I’m taking about ~ or you haven’t got a clue)
that the grief journey has been for me.
but three different times.
The other day,
in response to my post reminding folks that time alone does not heal all wounds
but that setting the intention to heal
and then following that intention with focused action
help you heal your broken heart
I received this response:
“How do you heal after losing your child???
Time definitely isn't the answer!!!!”
Great, honest question.
And a question I have been addressing very publicly since 2006.
“How do you heal...”
Regardless of who that you love died.
I have posted hours and hours and hours of free video of my many public presentations on my YouTube channel.
I have shared many, many of my quotes that many find helpful on my Pinterest boards.
I have been posting here
for how many years now?
And happily engage many of you in conversations and discussion always probing deeper.
So that we can heal.
All of us.
I have a blog on my website.
Where I archive many of my most potent Facebook posts and post new material and insights.
And I have just launched a newsletter
which you can subscribe to at
All of those resources and tools are yours for free.
And it will be up to each of you to set the intention to heal.
And follow that intention up with focused action.
That is the one step I can take
I can not deliver healing to you on a silver platter.
You must lean in.
You must take a step in the direction of healing.
You must engage.
and only you
will determine the speed at which you heal
by your intention
and focused action.
Use the resources I’ve created for you.
That’s what they are here for.
And, in addition, I’m launching an online, interactive program in early November
called “Your Next Step.”
It’s patterned after an incredibly powerful and transformational program I’m offering live and in-person in my home right now.
I’ve designed it in a way that anyone in the world can participate.
It’s truly going to be an international group
as one of the participants lives in Germany!!!
As I said
I can’t deliver you healing on a silver platter.
But I can help you discover
Your Next Step:
Take a look.
If money is tight
and the registration fee is a problem for you
I have two tuition scholarships available.
Email me at firstname.lastname@example.org to apply.
Now it’s your turn to take a step towards me.
But only if you want to heal.
I launched my website, www.TomZuba.com, on February 22, 2006the first anniversary of my 13-year-old son Rory’s“ascension into heaven”as I sometimes imagine the explosiveness of his soul, his spirit, his energy, his essenceleaving his physical bod...
Posted by Tom Zuba on September 27, 2013 0 Comments
My 18-month-old daughter Erin died in 1990.My 43-year-old wife Trici died in 1999.My 13-year-old son Rory died in 2005.I have learned a thing or two about life and death and grief and healing over the past 20+ years.The death of someone we love cr...
Posted by Tom Zuba on September 23, 2013 0 Comments
I was given
and gratefully received
a gift Wednesday night
by one of the brave souls
participating in my
“Your Next Step”
I was reminded that during the weeks and weeks and weeks following my son Rory’s diagnosis of glioblastoma multiforme
an aggressive, infiltrating brain cancer
for which there is no cure
there were many, many times
when the seemingly unbearable
was made bearable
due to the energetic efforts of people
some who I knew
more that I did not.
I know that people said prayers for me
they sent loving thoughts,
and healing energy
they surrounded me with light
and with love
I felt it.
I felt it.
And for a period of time
their intentions and actions
helped make the unbearable
Perhaps you have had similar experiences.
And then I noticed
and the brave soul
who planted this seed confirmed that this had been her experience, too,
that as time went by
and people “moved on”
and placed their attention elsewhere
no longer spending time focusing on me
and my journey
no longer sending me their prayers,
their healing energy,
the feelings of love and support and connectedness
I had been experiencing
And I felt more alone.
Proof to me
that we each posses an energetic power to connect with another
whenever we want.
If you are like me, you want to heal.
Did you know that in order to receive, you must first give what it is you wish to receive?
If you want to heal, you must offer healing to another.
And here is a way we can do just that.
Join me at 7:00pm this evening (your time) in offering healing to one other person who is part of this Healing Circle. Pick someone you know, or read through a post or two and pick someone your heart tells you needs healing, comfort, strength, grace, love today.
Spend a few minutes focusing on the person you choose. It’s totally up to you how much time you decide to/are able to devote to this practice today. One second is more powerful than no seconds. From your heart, send one person your prayers, your light, your love, your healing energy. However it is you energetically connect with another ~ offer them your blessing.
And be open tonight.
To receive the same energetic blessing from another.
Someone you know, perhaps,
or someone you do not.
When I heal, you heal. When you heal, I heal.
Are you in?
If my NEW WAY of "doing grief" resonates with you, I'd love to work with you one-on-one. If you are in the Rockford, Illinois area we can do that in person, otherwise, I am having great success working with people all over the country via Skype or FaceTime. Email me at email@example.com if you would like to take the next step on your grief journey and we can schedule a session.
Prayer.I was givenand gratefully receiveda gift Wednesday nightby one of the brave soulsparticipating in my“Your Next Step”program.I was reminded that during the weeks and weeks and weeks following my son Rory’s diagnosis of glioblastoma multiform...
Posted by Tom Zuba on September 22, 2013 1 Comment
If you are like me, you have prayed for a miracle.Or several. Or many. Miracles.I’ve tried to use the power of prayer to change the mind of God. More than once. That’s what I thought a miracle was. Saying the right prayer, at the right time, in th...
Posted by Tom Zuba on September 13, 2013 1 Comment
We think that we are brokenand maybe we areand maybe we aren’t (really)but that topic is for a different day.We are most certainly broken open.Broken openbecause someone we love dearly died.And this deaththis onewas not part of the planwe had crea...