Remembering Rory on the 16th Anniversary of His Birth...
 
July 24, 2007 was the 16th Anniversary of my son Rory`s birth.  If you`d like to add you own Rory Memory and/or digital photo you may email me at tom@tomzuba.com
 
July 24, 2007
Danny is my brother John`s oldest son.  The first nephew.  I am his Godfather.  Danny "knew" Rory the longest. 
 
Uncle Tom,
 
    Just wanted to say I was thinking about you and Rory today. One of my favorite memories of Rory is back when I lived with my parents and you, Rory and Sean would stay over during the summer. Rory was the only other person I new that loved Zelda as much as I did. He knew everything there was to know about the game. The names of the people...the stories behind them...secrets to the game...short cuts. Usually with video games I am the one helping other people but he was the one giving me advice. If I remember correctly it had to be at least eight years ago so he was only 8. I remember we would sit down in the basement and play for hours. Just wanted to share a little memory of Rory that I had with you. Hope you and Sean had a great day!
 
Love,
Dan
 
Oh how Rory loved Zelda...
 
July 24, 2007
We met Kathryn and her son Zach at the famous "park" in Walnut Creek on a Wednesday afternoon.  Now... they were the new people in town.  Kathryn and I had many, many deep talks about the meaning of life...etc.  They lived in the homes right next to our little circle.
 
Kathryn and her family are forever part of the experience.  After Rory`s surgery... we searched - frantically - for a treatment that might offer us hope... and we were lead to a doctor in Seattle.  Kathryn lives in Seattle now - I thought I remembered.
 
One phone call.
 
Very shortly, Rory and I were getting off the airplane and greeted by a smiling, loving, open armed-hearted Kathryn.  She - and her family - dropped everything to accomodate us... including arranging for a massage therapist AND a reikki master to work on us both minutes after we stepped into her home.
 
Kathryn is the one who gave me a copy of the Rikki B CD that carried me through much of that time... it sttill carries me.
 
Rikki B sings "From Within" which I played at Rory`s Memorial Service.
 
 
Tom:
 
I remember sitting on the bench outside the 4th grade classrooms with Rory.  While the other boys played some strange bouncy ball game off a wall, Rory would show me his amazing stories, read me parts of them, and show me his illustrations.  I could see right then his brilliance, his character and his wit!  What a fantastic kid!  I miss him still.  Remember our great picnics in the park after school?  And our swimming party at the end of 4th grade?  What a fun time Walnut Creek was with all of us together.  Rory`s picture with Tom and Sean is on my refrigerator from a visit Zachary and I had with Tom and the boys in Rockford 4 years ago.  It makes me smile.  I am remembering him this very special 16th birthday with love.
 
Kathryn Lengell
Seattle, WA
 
July 24, 2007
Mrs. Pate, Rory`s 4th grade teacher.
 
Hello Tom and Sean!
 
July 24, 2007
 
This is a very SPECIAL day here in California, for this is the place we first met a very SPECIAL boy! Little did we know when we met him on the first day of fourth grade, that he would brighten up our class each and every day!  When you think of Rory, a few SPECIAL words come to mind.  Respectful, curious, wise, humorous, author, illustrator, loyal, friend, inquisitive, and courageous, just to name a few.
 
This first thing I did this morning was to pay a visit to Bancroft Elementary School and the SPECIAL garden!  As many people know, this is where the memorial for Rory is placed.  I spent an hour there just thinking, enjoying the flowers and soaking up the sunshine.  I pulled a few weeks and tidied up the surroundings on Rory’s SPECIAL day.  I took the time to “feel” Rory’s presence and recollect some fond memories.
 
As I mentioned in my writing yesterday, he always had a story to tell.  He would stay behind at recess to talk to me about anything that was on his mind.  We had a mutual trust and he knew he could talk to me about anything.  I treasured those 1:1 moments.  He wrote many stories in his journal, but one SPECIAL memory was when he asked me to type his Young Author story for him.  He had a broken arm and told me if he had to type it by himself, it would take at least a year!!  So, of course I agreed.  There we were during our recess times and any chance we had during the day, typing his story.  He never left my side while I typed and often added new words here and there as he proofread his story in progress!! 
 
Rory asked me one day if he could sit near the front of the room as he’d been squinting during our class lessons and couldn’t see the board.  We immediately moved his desk up to the front row right next to the overhead projector.  I told him that I would write his dad a note stating that maybe he needed an eye examination.  Rory was adamant that his eyes were just fine now that he was in the front!!  Well, needless to say, he kept squinting and it wasn’t long before he walked into class with a very handsome pair of new glasses!!  I told him he looked quite “smart” and from then on he enjoyed wearing them!!
 
When May came around, making Mother’s Day presents threw me for a loop at first as I didn’t want to hurt Rory’s feelings.  But when he came up to my desk and told me, “Mrs. Pate, it’s alright.  I can make the gift with all of the other children but I’m going to give it to my Dad.  He’s both my mother and father”, I just looked at him and smiled (trying to keep the tears away).  He patted me on the shoulder and returned to his desk to get started on the SPECIAL gift.
 
Tom, Rory was very proud of you whenever you volunteered in our classroom, especially during our weekly math stations.  When we thanked our parents each week, he always smiled, gave you a big hug before you left and was happy to have you around and so involved with him and his classmates!  Your generosity made him feel very SPECIAL.
 
My last and one of the best memories of that whole school year was when we had ended our California Gold Rush interactive game for social studies and it was time for the skits, musical performances and songs.  We had a class “election” on who should be the announcer.  Well, to nobody’s surprise, Rory won that contest hands down!!  So, I organized the long list of performances and together, Rory and I wrote the introductions for each group.  Within the first two acts, Rory began “adlibbing” and each time, the whole class broke into hysterical laughter!!  He was SO FUNNY, he virtually became an “act” himself each time he spoke.  At times, we all laughed so hard, we cried!!  The show (which usually lasts about an hour) became the longest stage marathon in my history of teaching, but everyone thoroughly enjoyed every minute of it!  *Tom was there to video tape the groups and I’m so glad you have this on tape to watch every so often. (by the way, I’d love to see that show again if you can make me a copy!)
 
As you can see, Rory is very SPECIAL to me in many ways.  Thank so much to you and Sean for inviting us to share our memories in the continuing celebration of Rory’s life!  I’m really enjoying all of the sentiments that everyone is sharing; what a fabulous idea!!
 
Love to you both,
Nina Pate
 
I had forgotten that when we lived in Walnut Creek, when Rory was in 4th grade, he took a few classes in Improvasation and Stand-Up comedy.  Needless to say, he loved them... and was really quite funny.
 
Here are two photos from "Rory`s Tree" at Bancroft School In California
 
Funny story... when the tree was planted, our friends gathered and had a little dedication ceremony.  After the ceremony was finished... one of the girls said to the moms... "I think we`ve spelled Rory`s name wrong... and sure enough they did."  A new name plaque was ordered.
 
  
 
July 24, 2007
Kris and I go way, way, way back.  The Zubas were at 424 Rome Avenue... and the Hemlocks were at 222 Rome Avenue...
 
Dear Tom,

        Thinking of you especially today and of Rory on his birth day.  I`ll bet that Rory would now be out driving his "new" car after getting his driver`s license earlier today!!  You would probably be heading to JMK Nippon`s now for Rory`s favorite dinner to celebrate this milestone!

        I have so many memories of Rory (many with him but many more through the conversations that you and I have had over the years about both boys) that are all floating around in my head today.  One of my favorite memories with Rory are those afternoons that Rory would come home after school (I was still there after one of our long lunches) and he would immediately sit down on the couch and tell you about his day.  This was a ritual that was so wonderful and clearly very important to both of you.  I felt privileged to be part of that special time.  I loved to talk to Rory or just listen to him talk - always fascinated by his intellect (that made him seem so much older than his years) intertwined with his special humor ( reminding you that he was still just a young boy). 

        I found the birth announcement that I received from you and Trici when Rory was born -- perhaps the first time that the word "amazing" was used to describe Rory but a word that so succinctly describes his life and the impact that he has had on the world!

         

        I thank You God for most this amazing

        day: for the leaping greenly spirits of trees

            and a blue true dream of sky; and for everything

        which is natural which is infinite which is yes

        (i who have died am alive again today,

        and this is the sun`s birthday; this is the birth

        day of life and of love and wings: and of the gay

great happening illimitably earth)

        how should tasting touching hearing seeing

breathing any --- lifted from the no

of all nothing ---human merely being

doubt unimaginable You?

(now the ears of my ears awake and

now the eyes of my eyes are opened)

                                e.e. cummings



TOM AND TRICI BRENNAN ZUBA

   ANNOUNCE THE COMING OF

      THEIR MOST AMAZING SON,

   WHO HAS MADE THE WORLD

      LIMITLESS AND ALIVE AGAIN

RORY BRENNAN ZUBA

BORN JULY 24, 1991

AT 4:07 A.M.

WEIGHING 7 POUNDS, 9 OUNCES


Love, Kris

Thanks Kris, for reminding me of the birth announcement.  Trici was the English major... and she introduced me to e.e. cummings ... one of her favorites.  The poem about says it all.  It`s a snapshot of our life at that time.  Fr. Cusick had me read the poem at Rory`s baptism...
 
i who have died am alive again today,

        and this is the sun`s birthday
 
July 24, 2007
My friend Joan.  What can I say about my friend Joan?  Joan was my boss at Easter Seals.  Joan became my friend.  In the days, weeks and even months after Erin died... Joan came into my office every day... and for several hours sat with me.  Sometimes we talked.  Sometimes we cried.  Sometimes we laughed.  And sometimes we just... sat.  Joan taught me what it means to "accompany" someone through the wildreness of grief.  Joan accompanied me.  And I wil always be grateful.
 
Tom,
Two hummingbirds...late yesterday afternoon and again this morning...perfect as my girls and I talked about Rory, remembering your most amazing boy.   This journey of friendship over the past 20+ years has brought gifts too numerous to count and many memories that I cherish.  Amazingly I spent very little with Rory, but as with Erin, feel like I had an opportunity to know him uniquely through your eyes and heart.  
 
The most special memory I have is of the day you told me that you and Trici were expecting Rory.  You were and are a father like none I have ever known.  I remember the way you bounced in to work each day and flew out each afternoon to pick up Erin.  Not being married or a parent myself at the time...the joy you absolutely oozed over that child amazed me and I can remember thinking “I want some of that!”  
 
And then the unimaginable happened.  After Erin’s death, the light I saw was gone and it was heartbreaking.  Thanksgiving came and you told me that Trici was pregnant and anticipation turned to joy and love.  Remember telling me this was the child sent to help you and Trici heal?  Big shoes I thought...the biggest.  But not too big for Rory.  He was that most special child, gifted with life, love, intelligence, humor, empathy and a wisdom beyond anything we believed could be contained in that little body.  And the light shined!!

My girls remember visiting you guys in Oak Park not long after Trici died.  Rory, about 8, wanted to do his now famous karate demo for them and they were thrilled!  He suited up and proceeded to very seriously move through each pose...the girls were transfixed.  Then without warning, as if he thought he was taking himself just a little too seriously, a grin broke out on his face and he hit the ground rolling and laughing!  We all did.

I will always remember how lovingly proud and protective he was of Sean.  When I came to visit in Walnut Creek he showed me all over his new home, pointing out every piece of artwork on every door, cabinet and wall.  It was his new home and he was determined to be happy there and make it safe and happy for Sean too.  I watched him as he observed your soul circle that night and thought, this is nothing new for him, he is an old soul.

I am grateful for the gift of Rory Brennan Zuba and as Trici would say, his complete life.  The universe is forever changed because of him.  His spirit lives in all of us that loved him.  Livi has never taken off her Rory Forever bracelet, except to put on a new one when the letters have worn.  His spirit is that strong, to impact the life of a little girl that barely knew him...amazing.

One of my favorite quotes of George Eliot must have been penned for Rory:

“Blessed is the influence of one true, loving, human soul on another.”  
 
Thank you for the chance to remember the love that was brought to earth 16 years ago. Rory Forever!  Love and hugs to you and Sean.

Joanie, Nick, Mia, Livi and Nicholas
 
July 24, 2007
Another note from my wise woman friend Jean in Northern California.
 
I forgot to mention that I was so moved when I was going thru Rory`s photo album (haven`t been able to do this until my computer was updated) and heard Iz singing so beautifully, Somewhere Over the Rainbow.  I remember sending you that tape several years ago, Jimmy had made it for me and now it`s connected with your son. I also noticed that Rory always has his arm around Sean in nearly all the pics. It`s like they were connected at the hip. And, no doubt, the heart.

Love, Jean
 
I`m glad you noticed that Jean.  Yes, Rory seemed to always have his arm around Sean.  Yes, we were a family of three here on Earth... but in many ways, they were a  family of two.  They were the ones who shared life without a mom.  They shared me as the "dad."  They were a team through and through.  I`m sure they still are. 
 
July 24, 2007
From Taya... whose original email got this whole thing started.
 
Happy Birthday to you
Happy Birthday to you
Happy Birthday dear Rory
Happy Birthday to you

"These wounds wont seem to heal, this pain is just to
real,there`s just to much that time can not erase..."

I was listening to Even essence today and this song
made me think of you...it was another one of those
moments so i hopped on the Internet just as i did the
last time but this time i had a reason i wanted to say
happy birthday,i wanted to let you know that you are
the happiness to so many peoples lives you don`t have
to be flesh just to inspire some one...all you have to
do is stay where they need you the most...in their
hearts...
happy birthday, Rory,HAPPY SIXTEENTH BIRTHDAY
your memory will always be in my heart
sincerely with love
taya

Dear Taya...Rory (and Sean) love(d) Evenessence!  They listened to that song over and over and over.  Whenever I hear it... I always think of them together.
 
 
 
July 24, 2007
Again, from Rory`s 3rd grade teacher, Mrs. Grunnert.
 
 Dear Tom,
 
My thoughts are with you and Rory today. He was the first someone I thought of this morning and I know he will be the last someone on my mind before I go to sleep. I just finished reading the entry and picture sent by Opal Fish. We were making Mother`s Day gifts. There is Rory displaying that contagious grin and laugh with the flower pen in his ear!  The picture of Rory is how I will always remember him. I see that grin and hear his laughter whenever I think about him.  
 
Happy Birthday Rory,
I LOVE YOU,
Mrs. Grunert.
 
The kids took a blue Bic pen and wrapped it with green florist tape, attaching a flower on the top - mine is a yellow rose.  Somewhere, Mrs. Grunnert found cool small planting pots - one for each kid.  Each kid was able to personalize his/her "Mother`s Day" pot.  Mine says:
 
Happy Mom`s Day
a.k.a. Mr. Mom`s Day
Love,
Rory
 
It`s decorated with hand drawn hearts, flowers and butterflies.  Of course, I still have it.  What "mom" wouldn`t keep it?  Precious!
 
July 24, 2007
The human side of Rory as shared by his buddy Skip.
 
I remember back in sixth grade we had so many classes with each other I don`t know how he managed not to get sick of me! Rory and i would go from trying to convince a group girls we were gay (Rory and i had this down to an art) to him explaining to me why George W. Bush was a terrible president, even then he understood more than I do today, he was always full of fact and information. In science class we would use my clipboard to launch pens across the room, we thought we were so clever coming up with ways to launch them further in a semi-destructive manner(and it hurt if you got hit with one!). our next class was English were I was one of the few to witness the and take part of the flipping off of Greg Callahan. That was the most fun year of school I have had in my life and now he`s gone. but I still strive to carry on his legacy in my everyday life.
 
                                                                                                                                -Skip Grinnell

July 24, 2007
Marina was one of the first moms I met in Walnut Creek.  I asked her about Karate...because Rory was interested.  Very early in the school year, her son Tomas invited Rory - the new kid - to his rock-climbing birthday party.  That changed everything for us...because we were instanlty welcomed into the group.  Marina and her family opened their hearts to us and surrounded us with love.
 
Dear Tom,
Lot`s of love from far across the Atlantic but feeling very close.

Monday, July 23rd 2007
 
Dear Rory’s journal,
 
I am in Portugal on vacation with my family and my mom told me about Rory’s birthday so here I am with a very real memory.
 
During his last summer in California, Rory and I went to Gate Camp together.  We used to play chess during lunch and, to my amazement, I would always win.  He promised me he would beat me at chess before moving to Illinois and the last time he came over, we played our final match and he did beat me at chess.  That was my last memory of Rory.
 
He was very smart but never made a big deal about it.
 Is is Ok to still say Happy birthday, though????
Tomas Kneppers
 
Hi Tom,
 
When Tomas looked at Rory’s memorial (in the site) he avoided looking at the slide show because it was “too sad” but as he was walking away from the computer he heard the music playing, turned around, smiled and said:” Listen. This music is soooo Rory. He loved the Legend of Zelda.” We had a lot of stuff in common.”
 
We do have lots of wonderful memories of Rory. He was a lot smarter than all but he was extremely humble about it.  He was always willing to share his knowledge yet he was always very careful not to put anyone down.  When he came over to our house he showed us a lot of cheats for our video games.  I remember him so well in the park.
 
Andrew Kneppers

Thanks for sharing Rory with all of us
Marina
 
July 24, 2007
From my cousin Carrie... Cathi`s youngest sister.  Owen and Quinn`s mom.
I met Rory at his first birthday celebration.  It was a very special day and I remember thinking about this little 12 month old at the time, What spunk! 

My favorite story about him as a toddler was when his parents told him about “stranger danger” with the warning if anyone ever takes you yell as loud as you can “”This is not my parent!”  Smart boy Rory, for when Tom went to take Rory home from the park one day he did not want to go and must have been in a disagreeable mood so once he was in his fathers arms he started screaming  “This is not my father!  This is not my father!”

I did not realize what an impact Rory would have on my life until he became sick.  I was one of the many who followed with Rory and his family through the caringbridge site and was forever changed by the journey. Little did I know that less than a year later my son would have his own caringbridge site and be on the same floor at Children’s Memorial.  I only realize now Tom that by allowing me with you on your journey you essentially gave me the best primer class in handling a child’s sickness. And Rory I know that because of you I was able to constantly gain strength through your memory and often, at the hospital, felt your presence holding my son’s hand.

Thank you for your wonderful gift of life Dear Rory. 

We will never forget you and always honor you with love.

Happy Birthday Dear Rory, Happy Birthday to You!

Cousin Carrie, Mark, Owen and Quinn
July 24, 2007
Mary Nora is Trici`s oldest sister.
 
Dear Tom-I don’t really know where to start. Rory was such a happy baby.  The picture that Gus took of him on the red chaise said it all-he was so ready to giggle and smile and play with everyone.
 
One story I’ve been telling recently, since Jeffrey is now 2, is when I babysat for him one night at your house.  He clearly blamed me because Mommy and Daddy went out, and he didn’t speak to me for 4 hours.  He did everything I said, ate his dinner, but he just sat there looking at me to guilt me until you guys walked in.  What two year old has that concentration and control?
 
He was passionate about Sean-I was babysitting again-and I was singing (really) to Sean, and called him Seaneen.  Rory was instantly mad, and told me in no uncertain terms that his brother’s name was Sean or Seanie, not Seaneen.  And it grew stronger.  After Trici died it was as though he’d appointed himself Sean’s protector-nothing was going to ever hurt his brother again.
 
And you’re right, Tom, there are so many snatches: reciting the whole Muppets Christmas Carol as it went, explaining that Manatees and Hippos are actually related, finding a Lava Lamp in the History Museum bookstore and pointing it out to me (science in the middle of history he called it), and dancing with Pat outside my dad’s wake, just enjoying being with everyone and hamming it up.  He was very good with Bridget, knowing how much she loved him.  He was very good and careful with all of us, knowing how much we loved him and Sean, and how very much we missed Trici and Erin.  He was very good with my mother, knowing that she loved him and Sean as passionately as she loved Trici.
 
Remembering Rory always,
 
Mary Nora
 
This is the photo Mary Nora is referring to... taken by Rory`s Uncle Gus.
July 24, 2007
Kirstin is Rory`s friend Hayden`s mom.  She and her family really accompanied us as we walked the walk.
 
Dear Tom,
 
What a wonderful way to remember Rory on his Birthday by sharing memories.
I remember when Rory and Ben were chasing my youngest son Connor around at a birthday party.  It was Ryne`s birthday party at Atwood Outdoor Education Center.  Rory and Ben were there with all the other kids their own age but chose to take a few minutes and entertain my 4 year-old with a game of chase.  Connor loved it!
 
I remember Forrest talking about Chess practice after school one day.  He talked not about chess but about how Rory and Hayden did all these crazy things trying to get Forrest to laugh.  Forrest tried his best to keep a straight face.
 
I remember picking Hayden up from a Builders Club meeting and him saying as we pulled away, "Wait I have to go hug Rory one more time."  I told him he could hug him tomorrow that we needed to get home.  That next day Rory was not feeling well and not at school.......he didn`t return for several days.  I wish I had stopped and let Hayden hug Rory the "one more time." (this is where I have now learned that we are not promised tomorrows only right nows.)
 
I remember waiting for Rory to come to the pancake breakfast that the West kids had put on for him.  Rory`s friends all served, cleaned, and assisted the people at the breakfast.  They all did a GREAT job while keeping one eye on the door, waiting............and when the crowd had calmed down, Rory and his family arrived.  The kids were SO EXCITED!  You may have thought a famous celebrity had just arrived.  They followed him around just wanting to be near him.  Glad to have their friend with them once again.  When the breakfast was over the dining room was quiet.  I went to see where the group had gone and found them in a sitting area.  Several on the couch, some in chairs, more on the floor and the rest standing around..........just hanging out together.  I love this memory.....I can still close my eyes and see them all together. 
 
I told the kids what a great job they did and Rory gave me one of his famous one handed hugs.  I told him how glad I was that he was there and to get better.  He gave me a smile and the group was back to just being together. 
 
That class will always be together in some way.........many have left for other schools, some of the teachers have retired but they have a connection that few classes have.  The teachers, students, and friends have Rory and each other.  They have the support that they showed for Rory, the support that they showed for each other, and the support that Rory and his family have shown for them.  They have learned that they can love a friend and show it.  Love like that is to be celebrated and honored and that is why we have come here to let you know how much Rory is loved and celebrated......yesterday, today, and tomorrow.  
 
Happy Birthday Rory!
 
Love, Peace, and Strength to you all,
Kirsten Wilsey   
 
July 24, 2007
From Wendi.
 
Thinking of your beautiful boy today Tom and wanted to share a story about last night.

After I sent you my letter I proceeded to read what everyone else wrote in honor of Rory. I purposly did not read them until after I wrote what I did....not sure why.....I guess I wanted and hoped that everyone would do that for some reason. It was interesting to see how peoples memories/thoughts and comments mirrored one anothers. It made me smile, and of course cry. A few of the notes commented on the "somewhere over the rainbow" song. After reading, I went up to bed.....I was really tired> I clicked on the TV and come big country music concert was on. Up came Martina McBride whom I love. She proceeded to tell about a family and their loss in Kansas after the horrible tornados there and said this song is for you and all the people who need hope.

She sang the most beautiful rendition of somewhere over the rainbow I have ever heard. I smiled and tears just streamed down my face the entire song.

There are no coincidences are there my friend? Rory is smiling down on us Tom. I felt it last night. He is with you and Sean and everyone who is ever been touched by him.

I am going to listen to some REM today and rock out just like Rory would.

Make it a great day and give lots of hugs and kisses to Sean

xoxoxo
Wendi

July 24, 2007

Greg is a big bear of a kid.  All of a sudden he appeared as one of Rory`s friends.  i was never sure where he came from...until he told me this story after Rory died.
 
In the last few weeks of Rory`s life... his friends at school made him a scrapbook filled with photos and notes of encouragement.  Just a few days before he died... I was sitting next to Rory on his hospital bed, leafing through the pages.  I told him who was in what in what picture...and read him the notes...not really sure how much he was able to take in.
 
i came to the page with pictures of Greg.  Rory smiled his lop-sided smile...lifted his finger as best he could and very audibly said..."Callahan.  Callahan."  To the best of my knowledge... one of the last things he said.
 
This memory shares a different side of my most amazingly human son.
 
Dear Tom,

    In honor of Rory and at your request, I`m sending you the story of how Rory and I met and started our friendship.
 
6th grade was my first year in the gifted program and I didn`t know anybody. One day in the earlier part of the first semester of our 6th grade year in our last period of the day I looked over in the direction of Rory to see an unfamiliar slender middle finger gestured in my direction. For the remainder of our seventh period every time our English teacher would look away and I was looking in Rory`s direction I would receive that same finger.
 
 "This was quite amusing to Rory and the others surrounding him".
 
After the sixth or seventh time I started thinking "whats this guys problem?".
 
When class was over I asked him why he kept flipping me off and he responded with "I don`t know I just don`t like you". Too perplexed to respond I just let it slide. Later when I became friends with Ben he introduced me to Rory and we said hello and laughed about it.
 
Rory was a wonderful and intelligent person. His vibrance and sense of humor brightened whatever room he entered. I will always love and remember Rory.

                                                     Wishing you and Sean happiness and amity, Greg Callahan
 
July 23, 2007
Aunt Te is my mom`s youngest sister.
 
Tom,
 
      .We have so many loving memories of Rory. We brought Don`s relatives from  California to Rory`s first birthday party and they thought he was a very special baby. Aunt Te was so happy to finally have a chance to show off her remarkable relatives. There seems to be a birthday theme here because Uncle Don`s favorite memory was at Cathi`s significant birthday celebration. Don and Rory really "hit it off." The thought of these two characters together is extremely unsettling. They just bounced off each other all day and Don could not stop talking about what a great kid Rory was. We also cherish the time we spent with him the Christmas break after he got sick. He knew his limitations but he was willing to exert the effort to visit with us and just spend time with those he knew loved and cared about him.
 
                                                                                HAPPY BIRTHDAY RORY!!!!
                                                                                                   LOVE,
                                                                                AUNT TE, UNCLE DON, AND
                                                                                        ALL THE ALVINGS          


July 23, 2007
I really got to know Mrs. Borchers, the counselor at West Middle School, while Rory was sick.  Mrs. Borchers - and all of Rory`s teachers - loved him, and us, dearly ... and did everything they could - and them some - to make our journey more bearable.  We were blessed to be part of that incredible community.
 
Tom-
 
I am thinking about you and Rory tonight on the eve of his 16th birthday.  I remember the last time that I saw him alive - in the hospital bed in his room.  I knew that it was a struggle for him to keep awake when I was talking with him, but I also knew that he wanted to hear what I was saying.  I told him as much as I could remember about what his friends were doing at school.  I talked about his classes, teachers, and classmates - and he kept focusing on every word that I said.  I could see that hearing about school was very important to him so I kept talking until he finally fell asleep.  I will always treasure those minutes that I shared with him that day. 
 
I learned a lot about Rory from his friends - before and after his death.  Rory touched so many lives by being himself.  His zest for learning, living, and loving will always be a beacon for those of us who had the opportunity to know him.  I know that he will always have a special place in my heart.
 
Anna Borchers
 
July 23, 2007
The other half of Mary and Michelle.
 
The first thing that I remember about Rory is when I first joined the Zuba clan. There were so many people and this little boy about 2-3 years old. When I met Rory, he kicked me in the shin. I was shocked. Such a cute little guy. I had not expected this. Rory and I just observed each other over the next several meetings. Eventually we got to know one another.
 
Rory`s collections of bugs and frogs and things. He amazed me how when he had a bug or frog he could tell everything about it. He knew what they would eat and important things about their habitat. He was always willing to share his knowledge with others. That part never stopped. He was always willing to share. 
 
Some of the best times were when Rory and Sean would stay over at our house. Rory would sometimes call us mom when we tucked everyone in at night. I enjoyed watching the boys with Connor as they ran to the park to have an adventure then back home for food. Rory always the polite one who would tell us they were going to the park and then tell us the adventure story upon return.
 
I think Rory was in 5th grade when he brought up the conflict between Israel and Palestine at the dinner table. We talked briefly then asked if he had a lighter subject to talk about.
 
Rory would always take some time to play with Sarah also. Connor and Sean would play video games and Rory would play whatever Sarah wanted to play. He also would make Connor and Sean allow Sarah in the boys` room to watch the video games or a movie. It was special to me that Rory would do this with Sarah. I know that Sarah feels very special with Rory. And Rory would hug. During this time period, Rory began to hug more. He would give and receive hugs much earsier than he had when he was younger.
 
In the car one time, Rory said that he thought a trip with us would be a blast. This was because we played Peter, Paul and Mary Camp songs and everyone sang as loud as possible. He said that Dad`s music was not fun for sing alongs.
 
Happy 16th Rory!
 
Love you always,
Aunt Michelle

The conflict between Israel and Palastine.  To be honest...I still don`t have a real handle on what the fuss is about there.  But Rory sure did.  And he had strong opinions.  The world was (is) a fascinating place with Rory as your docent.
 
 
 
 
July 23, 2007
My Northern California friend Jean taught me so very much.  About ceremony.  About sacred  space.  About creating altars.  About the solstices.  About life.
 
Dear Tom:

I often check in on your website and thought; I really don`t have any stories to tell except one incident, and then I remembered something else that made a huge impression on me at the time.

First, we were new friends and you invited me to come over and have dinner with all of you.  While you were fixing the food Rory came into where I was sitting at the table in the kitchen.  He had a book with him, Lord of the Rings, and began telling me about it.  He knew all the characters names and the story.  He must have been around 9-10???  It amazed me that he could go into such detail and had such a mature grasp of this writing.  It also happens to be my son`s favorite book(s) and he`s 43 years old!

Eventually you shared with me a most wondrous event.  You said that Rory had told you that he was in bed and the ceiling opened up and his mother came to see him.  What a strong connection he had with the "other side".  In fact, I know both of your kids do.  I hope you will share their experiences on your website some day.

Love, Jean
July 23, 2007
Mary and Michelle "adopted" my kids... allowing them to get a chance to feel what it would be like to have not just one mommy... but two.
 
Tom,
 
   I think of Rory everyday. So many different things will remind me of him - Japanese characters, anything Einstein, dinosaurs, Lord of the Rings, long slender fingers, intense brown eyes, and butterflies for some reason. I remember when Connor and I went to Walnut Creek and we all went to an amusement park that had a butterfly room - you just walked in and roamed among hundreds of butterflies. Rory was enthralled.
 
   I have shared other memories with you about Rory but a new one surfaced today. Part of the 5th grade curriculum in the Rockford School District is "the birds and the bees" (my quotes), the infamous video and talk about reproduction and puberty. As Connor was in a multi-grade level room he knew about this event from the previous years. I think he was kind of looking forward to it - something reserved only for the older students. When he mentioned at the beginning of 5th grade that this was the year I said that we would talk some before then so he wouldn`t be hearing it all for the first time. Some time later Connor and I were raking in the backyard and I suggested that this might be a good time to have that talk. He asked what the video and talk at school were about and I told him. He said Oh, Rory already told me all about last year. I did some probing and indeed it seems Rory had already filled him in and correctly of course. I laughed to myself. Connor went on to say that he and Rory talked about a lot of things, that Rory had told him how glad he was to have someone close to his age who was mature enough to talk with. Besides missing Rory myself I miss him for Connor. With Connor a year younger and also in the gifted program Rory would have been a great mentor for him and friend.
 
   As I type this I am remembering more - how Rory would talk with his hands when he was excited about something. When he would be at our house I always made one of he and Sean`s favorite dinners - smoked sausage, rice and broccoli - with Jane`s Krazy Mixed-Up salt. I got him his own can to take back to California one Christmas. Whenever I would say something to the kids he would chime in with Connor - O.K. mom, or yes mom, with that grin of his. The first few times he did that I felt a little uncomfortable - what would Trici think? I finally realized she would not be opposed to his aunt mothering him in her absence.
 
   I love Rory and I miss him. I love hearing other`s memories of him.
 
   Happy 16th Birthday, Rory!
Love,
Mary
 
We`re living in California ... Rory is in 3rd grade... and our neighbor Joanie knocks on the door carrying a stack of college textbooks.  "I thought Rory might like these," she said. 
 
College textbooks.  Rory was in 3rd grade.
 
I received the books... thanking Joanie and for a second... just a second, thought... I wonder if I should pull the science text... I`m sure there`s something on human reproduction there... and I want to share that with Rory in the "right way, at the right time."
 
The thought passed...and I handed Rory the books.  He smiled!
 
The next year... 4th grade...Rory burst through the door one day after school with a perplexed look on his face...and I instantly knew he had read THE chapter...and that he was somewhat stunned.
 
I probed a little... and sure enough... Rory had taken the science text to school...and he and his friend Thomas discovered where babies came from.
 
I was a tad surprised that this young scientist hadn`t picked up on this occurence before...and asked him about it.
 
Sure...I know how know all kinds of animals mate from watching the Discovery Channel.  And you and mom gave me a book on mammals years ago... that pretty descriptively describes the deed... but until I read it in the college text... I really wasn`t sure it was really true.
 
He stood amazed!
 
July 23, 2007
Among many other things... my sister-in-law (such a clinical word - she feels more like a sister to me) Anne came to Texas to accompany Rory and I.  Not an easy task... but a life-changing shared experience.
 
Hi Tom,
 
When we stopped in Rory`s room the other night I was flooded with memories and felt like I instantly wanted to be alone and take time to be with his things and remember all the things that made him such a unique and special kid.  I will do that soon with your blessing.  He was so fortunate in his young life to have had so many passions and interests and loves.  I remember sitting by the pool some summer and listening to the Si-Fi story he had written.  It was, of course, way over my head but I sat in awe of what this little kid had just accomplished.  I remember when he didn`t like the Happy Birthday song at his parties.  I remember his laugh and big smile.  I remember what a good big brother he was to Sean. 
 
I miss him very much.  Happy 16th Birthday Rory Brennan Zuba
 
Love,
Aunt Anne
 
July 23, 2007
Noah is my nephew born on December 31, 1989.  Noah was born as my wife Trici was dying.  Certainly they passed each other on their trips.  Ryan is sweet Ryan.
 
Hi Tom,
 
I asked the kids to think of a memory of Rory.  Of course, Noah immediately said, "Rory was really, really smart!".  Then he said this......."I remember it was Halloween and we were all at Grandma`s.  Rory came downstairs and his hair was in a ponytail, sticking straight up on top of his head.....and it was blue! I asked Rory why was his hair like that.  Rory said he was just trying to be funny."
 
From Ryan..."Rory used to tickle me all the time."  "He has a Patrick Star (from Spongebob) stuffed animal.  I really liked it."
 
Funny what they remember!
Ann Marie
 
July 23, 2007
Anyone that accompanied us on the "Caringbridge Train" knows Wendi.  I tend to accumulate friends as I go through life...and I don`t drop them - at least not the great ones.  Many of my friends know each other... or at least know of each other.  Until our Caringbridge ride... none of my friends had heard me speak of Wendi.  Who is she?  Why have you been hiding her all these years?
 
The truth is, I have probably met Wendi less then 10 times.  Wendi is an angel on earth.
 
At a time of utter despair and overwhleming pain, Wendi opened her heart to us... helped us believe that "strangers" really do care... and changed us forever.
 
"My nephew Rory is in the hospital" my friend Ann Marie told me. It was the fall of 2004. She said that one of her brothers had started a web page about her nephew Rory if I wanted to visit it.....and so my journey with Rory Brennan Zuba began.
 
The caringbridge website for Rory became a meeting place for those who loved not only this amazing boy but also loved his incredible immediate and extended family. People could encourage and support Rory and his family. They could read amazing posts by his father Tom who would update the site with Rory`s ups and downs.
 
Day by day, week by week even those of us who didn`t know Rory personally grew to love him. He made us think about ourselves, our families, our purpose in this crazy world here on earth. He was the son you wished for, the brother you longed for, the friend you always wanted and the boy you would trust your daughter to go to the dance with. I felt compelled to do anything in my power to help Rory and his family.  I watched as complete strangers came together across states and even continents all for the same cause.....to help and support Rory. It was amazing and thought provoking.....why him?
 
Why is this happening to this sweet family.....yet again? Rory`s journey....was a turning point in my life. I learned so much and am so grateful that I was brought into the fold of this loving group of friends......"Friends of Rory" F.O.R. :) These friends gave Rory and Tom and Sean love and support when they needed it most......and I know without a doubt that all of us who were involved in Rory`s journey were given priceless gifts in return. Fuller hearts. More open minds. Kinder words to others and many more that we continue to see each and every day.
 
There are countless things that remind me of Rory. Animation, Nintendo, Einstein, Sunflowers, cinnamin ice cream, R.E.M., anything to do with the Asian culture, Anderson gardens, rainy days, ........the list is endless. Rory had an old soul and was wise beyond his years. I wish I would have known Rory before he became ill......yet I feel as though I did.

Rory Brennan Zuba today we continue to celebrate you. I read this quote once and feel it is so appropriate now.

"God danced the day you were born"

So dear "Friends and Family of Rory" on Rory`s 16th birthday may we all dance and celebrate this amazing boy and how he has touched us all! Say Rory`s name out loud....perhaps share a story about him with someone in your life. Continue the circle....and the let the ripple effect of Rory Brennan Zuba keep touching lives.....forever.

Make it a great day,

Wendi

My dear friend Wendi...I have beautiful plaques marking the day each of my three children were born...and the plaque says, "God danced the day you were born."  Perfect!   He/she/it/they danced the day you were born, too.

 
July 23, 2007
Rory blossomed in California.  I know he felt really "seen" by his beloved teachers.  Mrs. Pate was Rory`s 4th grade teacher.
 
Hi Tom,
 
Thanks so much for keeping me in the ‘loop’ regarding Rory.  I still think a lot about him all the time and wonder also how you and Sean are doing.  We haven’t seen each other in a long time (not since your trip to California awhile ago).  How are you fellas doing?  
 
I want you to know that Rory’s email address is STILL in my email address book and I can’t take it out!!  It will never be deleted.  He used to write to me when you first moved to Illinois and I felt quite honored in fact, that a soon-to-be teenager would continue to write to his 4th grade teacher!!  But, as you know, he always had lots to write about; his new school, his friends, family and other adventures he was involved with.
 
Tomorrow is a big day but I still can’t believe that he would’ve been turning 16 years old!!  In my mind, Rory’s still that little boy with the huge imagination, who always had a story to tell!!  I will be writing tomorrow with a memory and can’t wait to read many of the others too.
 
I hope you’re doing well and think about you often.  Thanks again for letting me know about tomorrow’s ‘celebration’ and please, keep in touch.
 
Nina
 
July 23, 2007
I met T.C. at my first Gary Zukav retreat.  When I moved to Walnut Creek... my search for a Soul Circle lead me back to T.C. - where I met Bob and Kimberly.
 
Dear Tom,
 
Thinking of you with love as you approach the marking of what would be Rory`s 16th birthday tomorrow.
 
I have taken the time to read the endearing memories of those who knew Rory on your website and have been profoundly touched. I am in awe of just how strong of a presence Rory had during his time on this earth and how much he contributed positively to the lives around him. His light shined big and bright and is still shining bright for those who had the priviledge of knowing him and being in his presence.
 
I still his his face in my mind when I remember back to entering the doors of your house in Walnut Creek for the Soul Circle you were hosting at the time. Such a joy to be greeted by such wonderful energy every week before Soul Circle. The memory that keeps coming to my mind is coming to your house in Walnut Creek for a gathering of Soul Circle attendees during Easter 2001. I remember having Rory give a muscial performance with his recorder  and being so moved to hear him play. As I write this, I feel a rush of warm energy fill up the space in my heart and chest. I will cherish this memory of Rory and his magical spirit forever. Please know that I will be thinking of you and all those that knew Rory as we as remember in our own unique ways how Rory touched the lives of all of us. May the maginal spirit of Rory carry on...
 
In Light &  Love,
Kimberly & Bob
 
I remember Easter of that year.  Such a celebration.
 
July 23, 2007
During the last few weeks of Rory`s life - after we returned home from Texas - it seemed as if, each day, someone new was knocking on the door... with their own special gift to offer Rory and my family.  One of the knocks was Ruth... who I had met at Womanspace.
 
Ruth brought us ashes from India that her son had collected.  We took turns annointing Rory`s body with them.  It seemed so perfect considering his love of the Eastern World.  Ruth offered Reiki, too ... and beliefin electromagnetic healing.  Ruth offered me a  glimpse into the future.
 
Tom,  
 
I did not meet Rory until he was already partly in spirit, and what a wonderful jaguar Spirit he had.  I feel I know him from reading the web site and from the love he inspired in all who were privileged to know him.   The blessing of his too short life continues in the love you and his familiy continue to share with the community.  I was at a memorial service recently and heard the song by Josh Grobin,  To Where You Are, and thought of Rory.   
 
Love to you at this time,  
Ruth
 
July 22, 2007
On Rory`s first day of 3rd garde at Bancroft School in Walnut Creek, Mrs. Grunnert asked Thomas to be his buddy.  They became best friends.  And most of our memories of living in Walnut Creek are intertwined with Thomas`s family, and Trent`s family, and Tomas` family.  The 4 boys were inseperable (as were their younger brothers).  Sleep-overs.  Birthday parties.  Trick-or-treating.  After school handball.  And, of course, the park on Wednesday.
 
Hi Tom,
 
We have been talking about Rory and when I asked Tommy what he remembers he said right away, The Park!!  When we always went to the park after school on Wednesdays. It was a good time and something we will always remember, how the kids just played and had a great time!!!
 
We will always think of Rory when we go by that park in Walnut Creek,
 
Ann, Thomas and Jonathan Hendershot
 
July 22, 2007
Moving to California was such a healing expereince for the three of us.  Believe it or not, the school kids had only half a day of school on Wednesdays - every Wednesday.  Rory, Sean and I were very quickly "adopted" by a group of "moms" ... and we spent most Wednesday afternoon at `the park."
 
Dear Tom
 
Rory would have been 16 this week, how amazing!  Your photos and collection of "memories" are a wonderful way to honor and celebrate Rory`s life.  I remember so well the year the Zuba clan moved to Walnut Creek and Rory started at Bancroft.  Ben was in dear Mrs. Grunert`s 3rd grade class with Rory that year.  I remember so well how Mrs. Grunert often marveled at Rory`s knowledge of things great and small.  On the last day of school (or thereabouts) I remember her saying, "He`s amazing.  I don`t really think there was anything I taught this year that he didn`t already know.  He taught me."   All the kids knew Rory was the super smart guy even way back in 3rd grade.
 
Almost every Wednesday, hot, cold or otherwise we hit the park.  I remember a few cold winter days it was only the Zubas and Huddlestons, too cold for everyone else.  When there was a group of kids, mostly boys, I remember Rory would often play with the kids for awhile, then hang with the adults for a bit.  
 
As you mention, Rory was quite the fan of Lord of the Rings.  I remember when the first Lord movie came out, at least I think it was the first one, Rory saw it on the first day, maybe missed a day of school to see it, or went to the midnight showing or something only a true fan would do.  I remember he was crazy excited to see how the movie would bring the book to life. 
 
Thank you for sharing your beautiful and talented boy, including his final journey with all of us.
 
Blessings and Love,
The Huddleston Family
Bob, Joanne, Ben and Felicia

Joanne mentions the cold winter days...all things are relative.  i think the temps were probably in the mid 50s.  Still pretty warm to these Midwesterners.

July 22, 2007
Laura is Ben`s mom.  Rory was really, really blessed along the way to meet incredible moms who took him under their wings and mothered him... often in a gentle, subtle way... in a way that he was able to receive.  I felt (feel) blessed by their presence in our life, too.
 
Hey Tom & Sean! 
 
I`m thinking about you all and Rory`s birthday.  I had forgotten that Rory is a whole year older than Ben ( just turned 15).    We miss Rory every single day, Tom.  Bill still wears his RORY FOREVER bracelet every day. 
 
As you remember, Rory traveled with us a little bit here and there. I can never thank you often enough for sharing that ray of sunshine with us.   His manners and mannerisms were the product of a good upbringing,  Tom.  He was SO lucky to have you for his dad.  We all benefited (through your school involvement and your wonderful kid) in your positive energy. 
 
A memory I haven`t shared with you yet......hmmmmmm.....ok.....picking the boys up at Whiz Kids and listening to them trying to convince each other that they were the better artist.  argh.  Hayden made reference to the competitiveness - hahahha.....  no shit.   They would ask me to judge "who`s is the best".  And of course "they were both brilliant in different ways".    Isn`t that the truth too?  omg ~  I miss him. 
 
And just one more (you know i`ve had lots of them - I don`t easily forget stuff)....Thursday night - parent`s night at Camp Lone Oak.  This one is painful for me.   The mommy`s were all kissing their boys goodbye huddled in a small circle and Rory was in the circle too.  I said `Ben, give mommy a kiss` and he reluctantly did.  Then I said "Rory give mommy a kiss".   At the moment it fell out of my mouth I swear I had forgotten why his mom wasn`t there and just thought he needed a kiss too.   And I bawled the whole way home for fear I had conjured up memories of his mommy kissing him goodbye.  Or not being able to kiss him goodbye.   ARGH.  He gave me a big hug and kiss (that I can still feel).  The minute I said it I wished I hadn`t, but it was done.  In thinking back on it though, he could have turned or walked away while we were saying goodbye, but he didn`t.   I`m hoping he was waiting for his kiss and knew that I loved him.  I do love him.
 
One thing I`m sure of is how proud he would be of you.  Not just for keeping his memory alive, but for helping so many people who have suffered like yourself with loss that only you can understand.  You`re such an inspiration, Tom.  I hope the days are becoming less painful for you and Sean.  Please know that we are thinking of you. 
laura, frank, & boys
 xooxox
 
July 22, 2007
We moved to Rockford in ealry August.  That Labor Day Weekend I took the kids to our town`s annual end-of-summer celebration called On The Waterefront.  We went that Thursday night... when you pay one price for a wrist band and get to ride all the rides as many times as you like.  Rory turned to me and said ... "Dad, that kid is in my class."  As Ben flew past us to jump on another ride.
 
I didn`t really know our neighbors yet, but when an ambulence pulled up to the house across the street I walked over to see if I could help.  The home owner, an elderly gentleman had fallen right inside the front foyer - as he was trying to let the meals-on-wheels lady in.  Turns out the man was Ben`s (the boy from On The Waterfront) grandpa.
 
Ben and Rory became fast, best friends.  I can still see them...with Sean tagging along sometimes...wading down the creek.  That summer that Ben`s family readied their Grandpa`s house for sale was wonderful...because it seemed like Ben was always around.
 
I also remember their Homecoming in 7th grade.  Rory had already had the seizure.  He had the picc line and the ridicously expensive, totally unnecessary rounds of Acyclovir AND he wanted to go to the Homecoming Dance that year.  He arrived to learn that Ben had forgotten or lost his student I.D. so the powers-that-be would not let Ben enter the dance.  So... Rory called and decided to skip the dance, too ... they both came back here and spent the evening together. 
 
Rory fund a kindred spirit in Ben.  And I am very grateful.
 
Hi Tom. 
 
It`s so nice to see so many comments about Rory on your website!  I found something cool in my closet a week or two ago. I was rummaging through old school work and books when I came across an old black drawing book of mine.  I flipped through the pages and realized that most of the drawings were from my fourth and fifth grade school years. About half way through the book I see the letters R-O-R-Y-Z-U-B-A written in big bold letters across the bottom of a page.  I look up and on top of that is a drawing that I made of Rory`s face in fifth grade.  I distinctly remember drawing him during lunch on a school day only a few weeks after I had met Rory.  I remembered that while I was drawing him, he was drawing me.  I don`t know where the drawing he made is but this one is still in good condition. Scattered throughout the rest of the book are other interesting sketches me and Rory made together.  If I remember correctly, during this year of school me and Rory sat with each other nearly every day of school and had made drawings like these all over each others desks and notebooks. 
        Finding things like these are what really remind me of how closely connected me and Rory were and how I will always have a piece of Rory`s care and love by my side. 
        Happy birthday Rory, with much love,
                      Ben Houtkamp
 
Rory asked me if he could go to the Wisconsin Dells to celebrate Ben`s birthday ... on Father`s Day Weekend that year.  They would be staying at one of the big Water Parks.  Of course, I said yes.  I gave Rory some spending money ... and when he returned he VERY proudly showed me one  of those character sketches of himself you can often get at touristy places.  He loved it.  
 
 
July 22, 2007
Sharon emailed me not long after Rory died.  I thought her email took an incredible amount of courage and I was very interested in what she was offering.  Help in healing through homeopathic remedies... which I was vaguely familiar with from my California friends.  The email registered with me and I set the intention to get back to her.
 
But life was so blurry.
 
So, a few weeks later, Sharon emailed me again.  And this time I was able to respond.  And this began a healing relationship...through homeopathy.  And a stronger connection to Rory... and back to myself.  Thanks Sharon for your courage and persistance.
 
Tom,

I am not sure exactly what to say, but feel free to post whatever part of
this you would like.  Since I am also not sure who the audience is, I am writing
this directly to you.  Here are my thoughts on Rory/the healing process etc.:

I believe we are all here to heal. Someone once told me, some of us heal into
life and others of us heal into death. Rory`s life, as well as that of your
wife and daughter were cut short. And you have had the harder path of staying
here in this world and dealing with the losses.  I remember at one point you
telling me that you thought you were here to be Rory`s father and support him in
what he was becoming. And then the role`s reversed.  Rory moved on to a
different space and time, and supported you to carry out your own life journey. 

I admire the courage you have shown to face all that pain, and move to a
place where you now offer hope and comfort to others in loss.  That is true
healing.  I have appreciated your openness to using homeopathic remedies, which can
restore balance emotionally and then physically.  And to help a person heal
from the inside out.  (I will let you share any of that in more depth, that you
wish.)

Rory was an amazing person, although I never knew him in life.  But I do feel
like in meditation, he came several times to support you and let you know he
was OK.  I believe that the dimension he is in, isn`t separate from the
physical world we live in.  We just need to uses senses, other than our eyes and
ears to connect with it.  I love the Einstein quote that you posted after his
death saying something to the effect that it is only an illusion that we are
separate.  When we open our hearts, we can feel that presence and know what our
loved ones are saying to us, even after they have moved on.

The part of you that has carried on, felt the loss, cried a million tears,
and learned to love and support others more, that is an expression of Rory. 
That part of you that enjoys cardinals and other living creatures is Rory.  The
part of you that has learned to trust your intuition and a deeper way of
knowing is Rory too. Because Rory lives on, especially inside of you:his father who
loved him dearly.  So is this letter about him or about you, it doesn`t
matter.  Because you aren`t separate.

May you continue to heal and know you make a difference in the world.  I like
hearing of the work you are doing,
Sincerely,
Sharon Wynstra
 
 
 
July 22, 2007
Bob is Corey and Teague`s dad.  That last summer, it seems as if Rory spent half the week at Corey`s house and Corey spent the other half at our house.  It was wonderful.  I loved having what felt like a "full house."  Rory would come home and tell of biking adventures he took with Corey and his dad...  Rory and Corey "hired" a friend of Teague`s to teach them Japanese.  And there was the endless fascination with all things electronic.
 
I remember Rory with a great fondness.  He was Corey`s (my son) friend and always welcome in our house.  He spent a lot of time at our house and I don`t have a single bad memory.  Rory was around so much that he was afraid he was wearing out his welcome.  Corey and Rory were pretty inseparable.
I enjoyed Rory because of his intellect and his wry sense of humor.  He understood such things as politics and he hated Bush as much as I do.  He understood what was going on.  His memory and his loss will always be with us.

Bob Algie
July 19, 2007
In the Fall of 2004, I was reading the local paper and saw a photo of a few runners...and skimmed the article.  Chicago marathon.  England.  Moved back to Rockford.  Boy with special needs. 
 
That`s about it.
 
But it registered.
 
That December...at the West-sponsored Pancake Breakfast Fundraiser a man came up to me...with his little boy in a special stroller and introduced himself.  "I`m Jim.  I read about you in the paper and had to come.  How can I help?"
 
Hey Tom--

Really enjoyed our time together yesterday.  Thanks
for  your help with the flowers!

I do think it`s extraordinary that Rory and Karen have
the same birthday--no coincidences.  I do believe it`s
a reminder that they--and we--are linked and in some
universal way inseperable.

They were both such extraordinary people.  I often
asked Karen what her dreams were in life and every
time she would say the same thing after truly thinking
about her answer each time.  She`d always say, `To
make people smile.`  This truly was her ultimate goal
in life to touch people`s lives in meaningful ways
whether it was a special needs child or a clerk in the
grocery store.

I only met Rory once and in meeting him I know that
he, too, was like Karen--he wanted to touch people`s
lives in meaningful ways.  It wasn`t what he said but
who he was that day that we met him that showed that
he was this incredible spirit.  I believe it was late
January by the time I met him in person and he, by
this time, was really ill.

We came over to your house and I remember him standing
just outside your kitchen and I introduced myself.  He
held out his `good` hand and shook mine.  I just
remember feeling so calmed by him. What touched me the
most was his gentleness.  I really do believe that he
was saying, "everything`s going to be o.k.`  He was
calming me!  I knew this by his look and his demeanor
and his graciousness. I was so touched by this hand
shake and this gentle soul, who, in his pain, was
graciously taking care and loving me.

He sat and listened to us and talked a little--all the
while with a calmness about him.  His peace was very
powerful--and inspiring.

I will never forget, too, your conveying to me that
Rory was so touched by Leo.  I knew that he loved Leo
deeply and this was so important to me.  In days when
I was really struggling with taking care of my son and
myself, I knew that we were making a difference to
Rory even in some small way.  He allowed us to take
care of him--what an incredible gift!  This was part
of his graciousness--that he allowed us to help him.

He wanted Leo`s picture by his bed in his last days.
You said that he would look at it and smile and you
two would talk about Leo.  I told you a story about
Leo saying `Meow` and you told Rory--and it made him
laugh.  I know that in my heart of hearts that Rory is
connected to my son and watching over him with Karen
and taking care of him.  I thought this even when he
was alive--even in the short time that I knew Rory.

I want to thank you, Tom, for being an incredible
father--an incredible daddy--to all of your children.
You still are Rory`s incredible dad.

Thanks for being such a great friend.  Thanks for
requesting my help and allowing me this gift.

Love, Jim
 
July 19, 2007
I know it`s a cliche...but look up "friend" in the dictionary and you see a picture of Jeannie.  Anyone that travelled with us on the "Caringbridge-Express` remembers Jeannie.  She is the REAL DEAL.  She knows how to celebrate big time...and she is willing to cry with you.  Our paths did not cross by accident!
 
Hi my dear.
 
I meant to write this yesterday on Erin’s b-day, but the day got away from me...
 
I loved the fact that the hummingbird made her appearance the night before – I hope that brought you peace and reminded you that your children are there – still loving you and you loving them.  I was wondering if you still have the nest you found – I would put a little candle in front of it and light it on those days/nights you just want “to be” with her and your memories – she was too cute for words, and yet, I see Rory in her in his baby pictures!  There is clearly a Brennan/Zuba resemblance in all three – a nice combination of you both!
 
The boys were all here Tuesday night watching Bancroft videos so we got to talking about Rory.  They are clearly not comfortable talking about Rory’s death.  I wonder if this is strictly a boy thing.  The girls I suspect would be talking all night.  Jordon Nazzal’s first words out of his mouth when I asked what do you remember about Rory…….”intelligent” and Scotty said “crazy smart”.  I asked for a memory.  Jordon said (and I didn’t know this) “when Rory broke his arm, I walked him to the office”.  I was like “Rory broke his arm?”  I had forgotten!!  There was talk about the bay cruise and how cold it was.  More talk about Mrs. Pate’s class and how Rory was the best reader and some laughter about how Scotty and Jordon were struggling in the reading color groups – remember those?  After you did a certain amount of tests, you were able to move up a color?  Scotty and Jordon consistently pulled up the bottom of the class while Rory was in the top color all the time.  (Their memories)  Scotty then relived the time he got a good grade on a test and marched over to show Rory who was sitting there with even a higher grade.  Many laughs over that one.  
 
For me, I remember the “feeling” of comfort sitting there after school watching our children play hand ball for hours.  I remember our Wednesdays in the park, but sometimes, Rory would sit with us – god knows what he thought about our adult conversation – we would laugh a lot.  But you want to know what I remember?  Talk about first impressions being totally off!!!  I remember on the first day of school seeing you and your then girlfriend walking down Clairborne towards Bancroft with your long hair hand and hand.  I just remember that.  It was probably what almost a year later before we first officially met?  I can’t remember when we first met, but I remember our first field trip where we talked and I found out about Erin and Trish.  My point is, seeing you walk down the street looking happy as a family; you would never have known all the heartache you had endured.  You can’t judge a book by its cover!!  That sticks with me.
 
I think about our little group now.  So much change.  At the time, we had no idea that tragedy lurked around the corner.  The group is basically gone – those still here, we don’t get together anymore.  No more park time, no more Wednesday wine at the house.  The lesson continues to be that change is going to happen.  We must enjoy TODAY no matter what.  We should take stock each and every day – about the good and happiness we feel.  I truly understand the saying “that chapter is over”.  I can honestly say I’m so happy our paths crossed.  I’m blessed to have known this special boy named Rory.  My heart was already entwined with his and Sean because as a mother, I wanted to mother them because I knew I would want someone to do that to my boys had something happened to me.  I’m a better person because of you – for knowing you and for knowing Rory.  Our time together was short, but it will last a lifetime – I truly believe we will stay connected and share the remainder of our journeys until our time comes.  I thank you Tom, for sharing your life with so many – we have had the luxury of learning so many things w/o having to (yet) experience the unspoken truly incomprehensible pain you have had to survive.  You know I admire you and I hope you find peace and feel the love of so many as you make it through this month – one day at a time. 
 
Thinking of you and Rory and Erin and Trish and Sean,
With tender thoughts and love,
Jeannie
 
July 18, 2007
From my younger sister, Ann Marie... who helped mother Rory during the last 6 months of his life.
 
Hi Tom,
 
I`ve been sitting here, thinking of Rory.  I hate that my most vivid memories of him are after his seizure.  When I think about Rory, I immediately think about how smart he was...and how good he was with the computer.  I remember when he and Sean stayed with us for a weekend.  Rory wanted to use the internet and Greg wasn`t home.  I told him that I had no idea how to sign up a "guest" on the internet.  He gave me the funniest look like "how can you NOT KNOW??"  Anyway, I told him to try it, and sure enough he was on in no time.
 
It was also this weekend when he was in the "mushroom drawing" phase.  He drew those mushroom pictures on every blank piece of paper he could find.
 
As a baby, I remember Trici always commenting on Rory`s legs.  She`d say, "Doesn`t he have the most beautiful legs?"  At the time, I remember thinking they were just legs.  But now, having my own children, I know exactly what she meant.  Baby and toddler legs are absolutely beautiful!  Trici LOVED Rory....every single thing about him.  I will always remember that.  Rory was never in need of hugs or kisses from either of you.
 
I remember taking Rory to the Brookfield Zoo.  It was just he and I.  Since he was no stranger to the zoo, he basically led me around it.  I took him to the gift shop and after checking everything out, he chose what he wanted....a plastic head of I believe it was a tiger or dinosaur on a stick which by pressing the handle, the mouth would open.  We then found a small rock to put in the mouth so that the animal could chomp on something.
 
As a baby, I remember Rory at Grandma`s, when he discovered the light switch.  We all took turns standing, for what seemed like hours, in front of the switch, while Rory would say,"light on", then he would turn it on,  then "light off", and he would turn it off. He did this over and over.
 
I loved how Rory`s smile could light up a room.
 
I loved listening to his theory about the evolution of birds from dinosaurs.
 
As you know, Rory was/is special.  I want you to know that I KNOW THAT TOO!  A day doesn`t go by that I don`t think about him.  Sometimes, I too, just like to say his name out loud.  Please know that Rory will always be part of my family.  We have his pictures, we talk about him frequently.  I love it when something sparks a memory of him in my boys.  They love to talk about Rory and hear stories about him.  I like that.
 
Happy 16th Birthday Rory!
I love you,
Aunt Ann Marie
 
July 16, 2006
Being around my "oldest" cousin Cathi was/is always a celebration!
 
Hi Tom and Sean,
 
It was nice to dedicate the time to sit back and think about Rory.
 
I remember him as an adorable precocious mophead.  You, Trici and he were visiting on our back porch.  ( I think our Cressy cousins were in from England,)  He was only about 3 years old and interested in everything.
 
One of the next memories I have of him was after Trici`s funeral.  He was very solemn and matter of fact as he was wondering if there was going to be an autopsy. (Again...wise beyond his years)
 
 Fast forward to my surprise 50th birthday party in 2004.  (about 2 months before he became ill)
 
I hadn`t seen him since he was back from California and was surprised  to see the poised young man he had become.  He gleefully went along with your idea of  wearing a T shirt with my baby picture on it.  After having a brief converstion with him... I thought... It`s going to be great to get to know him better  (We were all planning to come for your parent`s 50th in a few months).
 
I remember him being delightfully silly with you and Sean on the video for your parent`s celebration.
 
I also saw him over Christmas break 2004.  Even though he was tired from driving to a Chicago suburb for  a new therapy...he was very gracious at the dining room table, not getting annoyed at out feeble attempts to make converstaion.
 
I can`t thank you enough for putting the slide show of his life in pictures on your website.  It gives me a  small but meaningful snippet of a wonderful boy.
 
I am certainly proud to be his cousin.
 
A candle will be lit on the 24th.
 
Bless you
Love,
Cathi
 
July 16, 2007
Melissa helped organize and lead the Candle Vigils held outside Rory`s bedroom window...
 
And a happy day it will be celebrating Rory`s birthday! 
 
Last year at this time I was at a youth festival in San Antonio, Texas with about 23,000 high school youth.
Food, fellowship, music, fun, meeting people...wonderful food, smells, sights, sounds....it was a huge party!
There was a special area where you could remember those who have passed on...I wrote down a prayer and put Rory`s name on it...then you hung it on a branch of one of the trees. It was a beautiful display, colorful, filled with names of friends and family...very special.
 
This year I will be on another youth trip to the U S Virgin Islands. We will be putting on an arts/music camp for children who live there.  Rory will be going there with me in my thoughts, my heart, and in my actions.
We will be doing skits, having fun entertaining the children, making music...each of the youth going will get to use their individual talents... their unique gifts to shine! I`m sure Rory would love it! On Rory`s birthday we will be talking about the "good shepherd"...tending to his flock. We will make a "sock shepherd"... and a mosaic picture of a shepherd. The high schoolers will help guide the young children.
 
From what I know about Rory he was like a shepherd, caring for his friends...looking out for others...his kindness to others! Rory`s kindness and caring for others is what I carry with me.
 
Happy Birthday Rory! 
Your life, your memory continues to bless many. Melinda Alekna Rockford, Illinois
 
July 15, 2007
When Rory became friends with Corey... he said to me (more than once) "Daddy, I`ve finally met someone who thinks like I do.  Corey and I speak the same language.  We understand each other."
 
Teague is Corey`s older brother.  Not only was Teague older... but he was wiser in all the areas that most fascinated Rory... electronics, computers, the Internet.  Teaque was helping Rory create his own website before he had that first seizure.  Teague was the always-on-call computer whiz who helped Rory make his first music video.  In many ways, Taegue was Rory`s mentor.
 
That last summer, Rory spent as much time at Cory and Teague`s house as he did at his own.  Teague wrote:
 
I can’t believe Rory would be 16 so soon.
 
While I was at Auburn, I would think how all the great teachers there were missing out on having him as a student; the Longhenrys, Mrs. Heisel, Mrs. Hoover, Mr. McCoy, all the teachers. I know that Rory would have been amazing at Auburn. It would have been incredible to see everything and everyone around him (and I’m sure he would have made everyone there laugh frequently). Now though, I’m not so sure what would have happened. This past school year he would have had Mrs. Heisel for English, Mrs. Hoover for College Algebra, and Mr. Longhenry for World History for sure. Biology would have been a pain (bad teacher), and the number of good electives seems to be dwindling. If he had taken theatre and band he probably would have had fun though, the teachers for those are awesome. That would have been this last school year (minus every other amazing thing he would have done).
 
The next three years though are very much a mystery.
 
There is no steady Sophomore English teacher, Mrs. Marshall (chemistry) will no longer be teaching at Auburn as of this Fall (she was incredible, she and Rory would have loved each other), The AP US History teacher was terrible and will not be returning, and the head of the Theatre department will soon be gone too.
 
In Rory’s Junior year, The Longhenrys will have retired (so no AP English or certain AP Gov teachers), the calculus teacher would be new or only in for one year (new one coming this year, last year’s was bad), Mr. McCoy would not be there to teach AP Macroeconomics, and most likely he wouldn’t have a good Physics teacher either (this year’s was fired, and they are impossible to find these days).
 
Senior year is all AP classes, so Rory’s senior year would be a complete mystery.
 
I wonder where he would have decided to go to college (he would have decided, acceptance wouldn’t be an issue)? What would he decide to major in (or what multiple majors would he go after)? What would happen?
 
There are few people younger than me who if they said they were proud of me, I would be honored/flattered/delighted; Rory would be one of them. I miss him. I miss hanging out and having fun with him.
 
I know I’ll never meet anyone that can compare to Rory, but I hope that at some point I meet someone who feels the same to be around.
 
Boy, do I know what you mean Teague.  There was something about Rory that words can not describe.  I felt that, in many areas, he was my guide through life...because he knew so much more about so many things than I did.  The world - somehow - seemed more fascinating and interesting when I was with Rory.
 
 
July 15, 2007
Mrs. Grunnert was Rory`s 3rd grade teacher at Bancroft Elementary School in Walnut Creek, California.  The kids were furious at me for selling our Oak Park home (the only home they had ever known)... leaving their beloved Tami, all their Oak Park and Rockford cousins, aunts and uncles, grandparents and friends...and moving all the way across the country to California.  It was not going to be an easy sell to them.
 
As always... in retrospect, Peggy Grunert was the perfect teacher for Rory.  He felt safe, seen, understood, appreciated... and most of all LOVED by her.  I think Peggy allowed Rory to open his heart again and REALLy drink in life... following the death of his mom.   
 
 
Dearest Tom,
 
Some people come into our lives and quickly go. Some people move our souls to dance.

They awaken us to a new understanding with the passing whisper of their wisdom.

Some people make the sky more beautiful to gaze upon.

They stay in our lives for awhile, leave footprints on our hearts,

and we are never, ever the same."

                                                      - Flavia Weeden

This poem reminds me of Rory and captures the essence of how I feel about him.

Some people come into our lives and quickly go.

    I really believe that "Rory was sent to me" to help me my first year back teaching third grade in ten years. I will forever treasure that year in third grade together.

Some people move our souls to dance.

    Rory made my soul dance with his laughter. I still can hear his laughter. I hope that memory never escapes me. My soul danced when he did his famous science experiment with smelly perfumes. My soul danced when he was the producer and director of the Great Kapok Tree. My soul danced when I saw his face at our Mother`s Day Tea when you came to join us. He was so happy and proud!

 They awaken us to a new understanding with the passing whisper of their wisdom.

    Rory was one of those "once in a lifetime students". I have never had nor will I ever have such a unique student. His wisdom was beyond his years. I learned so much from Rory about so many subjects. I learned about art, science, geometry, Japan, Gandhi, Einstein, ... I could go on and on. Whenever I completed a lesson (on any subject) I would ask Rory if I forgot anything or if he had anything to add. He ALWAYS had something to add, but always added with love and respect.

Some people make the sky more beautiful to gaze upon.

    Rory left this world with something more beautiful to gaze upon. I LOVED his art work! He was into black and white at the time. He would not add color because he felt he wasn`t a good enough artist yet. He left us with his writing. He was an OUTSTANDING writer but he didn`t think so. He had such voice in his writing. His writing would always bring me to laughter or tears. He had that "power of the pen". I was so happy but not surprised to hear of all the writing awards he received. I still have many of his writings that I read whenever I want to feel closer to him.

They stay in our lives for awhile, leave footprints on our hearts, and we are never, ever the same."

    There is not a day that goes by that I don`t think of Rory. I know that he is always with me and makes his presence known. I KNOW that I am a better teacher for having known Rory. I KNOW that I am a better human being and will forever have Rory in my soul because he "left his footprint on my heart and I will never, ever, be the same."

HAPPY 16th BIRTHDAY DEAREST RORY!

I know we will meet again, "Somewhere Over the Rainbow".

Love, Peggy Grunert (Mrs. G) Your Third Grade Teacher
July 15, 2007
Rita was one of Trici`s best friends since high school.  I still remember the night I met Rita and her husband Jimmy for the first time... at the nicest restaurant in Oak Park.  I liked then both immediately and could tell how much they loved Trici... in fact, they actually told me how much they loved Trici.  I`ve always felt that Rita and I were probably twins in a prior life.
 
Dear Tom,

My very first memory of Rory actually goes back to just a month or two
before he was born.  You and Trici had Jim and me to your  Oak Park
apartment for dinner one evening. I remember Trici being very pregnant
and looking very beautiful - she had her hair pulled up and she (and
you!) was stir-frying chicken strips, onions, and peppers for dinner. 
She was also rather "far away" in thought.  She had just shown us the
pane of glass that you had framed of Erin`s handprints on the window. 
I remember feeling that I couldn`t wait for her to hold her new baby in
her arms. I also remember that you both had told us the names you had
chosen - Rory for a boy, and I think it was Rose for a girl.  A month
or two later he arrived - July 24th.  I remember chiding Trici while
she was in the hospital that she could have waited one more day and had
him on the 25th - our anniversary!

Happy birthday to Rory.

Love, Rita and Jim
I remember that night.  It was always a party when Jim and Rita came over.  We were living on the top floor of Tony and Adrienne`s stucco 2-flat on Taylor Street in Oak Park.  120 S. Taylor, I think.  We were sitting around the Oak pedastal table that Trici and I bought one early New Year`s Day at Marshall Field`s furniture clearance sale.  We used the electric frying pan that my mom gave me.  It wasn`t new...it`s the same pan she used to cook in when we were kids.  I still have it.  It still works.
 
The pane of glass Rita is referring to was from the window in our kitchen...looking our onto the back balcony.  I have a vivid memory of being out on the balcony one June day...watering the potted plants.  Tricu was in the kitchen with Erin... who had just finished eating a peach...so, her hands were juicy.  Trici held Erin up to the window...and Erin waved at me...leaving peach-juice hand prints on the glass...along with a nice juicy kiss.
 
Several months after Erin died... Trici was sitting at the kitchen table and noticed the prints Erin had left.  Always one of the most resourceful people I have ever met...Trici arranged for the Oak Park police to come by... remoce the plate of glass...and then dust it with black finger print powder...enhancing the image of the prints.
 
Trici had the powder sealed with a secone pane of glass pressed up against it...and then had our friend Susan Gillchrist make a beautiful stained-glass-red-rose border.  Trici finished it off with a solid oak custom frame.  It hung in our Oak Park bedroom until I sold that house and moved to California. 
 
July 14, 2007
Maria is my sister-in-law Linda`s sister.  Trici and Maria had a spacial bond...and Maria loves kids.  I can still picture Maria holding Rory (or Sean).  The kids call her Tia.
 
Dear Tom,
 
I don`t think anyone will ever forget Rory or you. It is hard to believe what some people have to endure in this life. You and your family are always in my prayers. I will always remember
holding Rory in my arms while dancing so he could go to sleep. God bless you always.
 
Love,
Maria
 
July 13, 2007
My friend Ann:

Dear Tom and Sean,

As I read Taya`s journal entry i was deeply moved by her memory of Rory.  So, of course I wanted to participate in the virtual celebration of Rory`s 16th Birthday.  Thinking of Rory I am reminded of the toddler Rory.  Rory must have been just two years old when Tom and I took him on a sight seeing trip on a tour boat to view the coast of Chicago.  I couldn`t believe that Tricia had entrusted her sweet boy to us and on a boat no less.  But we made it and had a great time.  Rory was so curious, always looking, always exploring.  

Then the summer of 1999, I spent a few days with you at your home in Oak Park with my two children Elizabeth and Scot.  Rory was a perfect host to my kids.  It was several months after Tricia died so you could already see that Rory was taking great responsibiltiy for Sean.  We had a wonderful time, playing on the fountains in the parks at Oak Park.  We drove into Chicago and met up with family friends and went swimming in their high rise condo pool and then off to the water front to ride the rides and have dinner. 

After you moved back to Rockford from California the three of you drove down to Keokuk to spend a couple of days to see us during my visit with my Parents.  So..... Great to see you, it had been several years.  Rory had become the self assured, very articulate young man that we have seen in so many pictures.  We went on a walking house tour of Grand Ave, he asked lots of questions.  Rory was very interested in the building of the Lock and Dam on the Mississippi River.  My Mom took us on a tour of the historic Miller house in Keokuk and I know she was very impressed with Rory`s questions and observations.  At the end of the tour she invited Rory and Sean to pick out a small token in the gift room.  Such a fun few days to spend together. 

Tom, I want to thank you for inviting me to remember Rory, to really spend time thinking of those occassions when I had the great fortune to spend time with him. 

Love,
Ann

July 13, 2007
Nancy Ryan.  Nancy I met in December of 2004, as she details below.  Nancy opened the door to me at Kaneland High School and allowed me to work with the incredible students there.  Nancy and I walked the 5K for Caitlan together.  If you are looking for someone who "knows` Reikii ... go see Nancy!
 
Nancy is willing to share her truth... so others may share theirs.  Thanks, Nancy!
 
Dear Tom,
 
I only had the honor of meeting Rory twice.
 
The first time was just after Christmas of 2004.  I came to Rory`s home to have a Reiki session (healing with energy).  Rory had undergone surgery the month before.
 
I only met Rory post diagnosis.
 
Most of our time together that day Rory slept on the (Reiki/Massage) table while the energy flowed to heal and cleanse his body.  So...I met Rory awake to meet him, explain what healing energy work was about, what to expect....and then after he awoke, and when I was leaving.
 
So...my meeting with Rory awake was brief.  But Rory made an impression on me with his sweetness, the gentleness of his soul...so apparent in his presence and way of being.  He was so trusting of me, a stranger to him ---  I believe acting out of his total trust in his father, Tom, to care for him and bring him only goodness.  Rory struck me as “at peace” with life.  Very calm, sweet.  I could see a humor in him lurking right under the surface.
 
The second time I met Rory was the Sunday before his physical death.  I came to the house for another Reiki session. 
 
This time Rory was unable to speak, except through lightly squeezing his father`s hand in response to questions.
 
I walked in on a Sacred, Sacred space in which Rory seemed to be transitioning over already.  I believe he was aware of my presence.  My sense of Rory in that space was that he was surrounded by thick, loving, Spirit/Angel/Guiding Energy.  My sense was that he was at peace, and did not want to be disturbed by me.  Tom could move easily into the energy surrounding Rory, and join it, but I was on the periphery...where I belonged.  This was a Sacred Journey Rory was embarking on.  Rory had all he needed already;  no need to “heal” anything at this point.  He told me, in a non-verbal way: “it`s ok, thank you anyway, but I have all I need”.
 
So, I shared with Tom what I believed Rory to be saying to me, and we did not have a Reiki session with Rory that day.  It was the second and the last time I saw him.
 
Rory, in my opinion, is a unique, special, advanced soul who came here to earth to affect so many lives in his 13 years in his body...and continue to affect others in the years following leaving his body behind.
 
Rory died when my youngest daughter was in Kindergarten.  I would walk Rachel to school each morning.  There was a boy in the 5th grade at Rachel`s school who was a crossing guard, and tall for his age.  I never saw him before Rory died, and then one Spring morning, weeks after Rory`s death, he walked us across the street and he looked me right in the eyes.  He was the spitting image of Rory...glasses and all.  My heart leapt and seared at the same time.  I actually thought I was looking at Rory, and my soul responded as if I was.  And the fact of his death hit me very hard at that moment...as I “knew” it could not be Rory.  I “felt” his death because I “felt” the reality of his physical absence. 
I was shocked at my emotional response.  I welled up immediately, and the pain seared through me....the same pain I have felt when the reality of the death of others I have loved hits me...that they are “gone” in the flesh.  In the tangible, I can see-you, and hear-you sort of way.
 
I did not know Rory well enough to warrant such a reaction of emotional pain...but it was real none-the-less.  I felt his absence very strongly in the presence of this mirror image.
 
Tom has said this, and I agree, that those who cross over through death become more powerful.  I see this as a “being set free” from the vibration it takes to be here in the physical, and being free to be connected across time and space without restriction.
 
I still “feel” Rory`s presence in Spirit on this earth...with those whom he loves and is connected to, and in a global sort of way helping to raise the vibration of all life here. 
 
I feel honored to have met such a precious, special soul while he was journeying here.  I look forward to meeting him again...as I believe I will...and get to know him better next time.  That is an opportunity I do not intend to miss!
 
Happy 16th Birthday, Rory...to an ageless, timeless soul.  Your mark continues to be made here on earth, and I do not doubt, on many worlds we cannot perceive of here.  May you feel the celebration of your Life and Being resonate to you, enfold you, uplift you and give back to you many of the gifts you have given others here.  As I know you can see (and feel)...you are dearly loved.
 
 
Nancy Ryan
 
July 13, 2007
I LOVE this picture of Rory and his 6th Grade Humanities teacher Mrs. Hamlett.  To those of you who were at the Memorial Service...  Mrs. Hamlett read from The Little Prince (Rory`s favorite book).  Rory LOVED Mrs. Hamlett... and he loved her class.  He found it so stimulating, interesting, challenging, refreshing and affirming.  I am so very glad that Mrs. Hamlett was in his life.  She helped him become who he became.  Great teachers, like Mrs. Hamlett are our one of greatest treasures!
 
 
 
 
 
July 12, 2007
From Sheri who I know from my Walnut Creek Soul Circle
 
I love you, and I miss you, and I miss Rory, and I miss Sean. The three
of you made me feel UN-invisible. When I walked into your home, You saw
me. All of you. And you smiled. Thank you for that! Thank you for the
beautiful children that you made with Trici. They ARE a gift. All 3. Or
should I say 4....Mama`s count too!

I think of you all very often.....I feel that we have lost touch, but I
am ok with that. To know the three of you has indeed been an honor, and
that is sufficient for me. Blessings on your Remembrance Day, on Rory`s
Day.............

Sheri Lee
(just in case......soul circle, california)
July 11, 2007
From Jasmine who introduced Rory to accupuncture - which he loved:
 
I think of Rory almost everyday.  He touched my heart so deeply and made me realize that my purpose in coming to Rockford, Illinois was to be of service to him.  Of all the patients I treated, Rory Brennan Zuba was why the universe dropped me into Rockford for 1 1/2 years.  His smile, his wit, his charm, his personality shined brightly even through his illness.  He had such an amazing way of looking at the universe and seeing how we are all connected and ONE.  He was and is luminous and continues to shine.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY RORY BRENNAN ZUBA!
Love,
Jasmine
Jasmine Patel, MSAOM, LAc
http://www.nwcaom.com
 
July 11, 2007
From my California/Soul Circle friend Naomi:
 
I remember his beautiful gentle face.
 
I remember how completely in love with him you are.
 
I remember his sweetness, easy way of being, openness.
 
Love,
N
 
May 30, 2007
from Rory`s friend Hayden:
 
We don`t go to cemetaries much, infact, The time before this one was to visit Rory`s grave.  It`s not about going there to pay respects to the body for me, it`s about knowing who my friend was.  You see, when I was there I felt like Rory`s spirit was especially close.  I had a single tear stroll down my face casually and that was it. 
 
I knew that Rory was especially present, for even though only one tears graced my cheek, I know that Rory was the one who had cleansed my soul.  On the way home we only heard happy music.  Once we found his grave, the weather cleared up and rain was nowhere to be found.  On the way home, we ate and talked while on the way there we only listened to NPR in total silence. 
 
I felt cleansed, and still do feel cleansed of all of the troubles that came my way when thinking of Rory.
 
Peace, love, and Good Vibes,
~Hayden  
 
May 27, 2007
From Rory`s friend Hayden:
 
Yesterday, Jordan Hoffmann called me up and said that since his laptop wasn`t working, they were going to go to the Apple store in Woodfield, then they were going to go visit Rory`s grave.  They wanted to know whether or not I wanted to go.  I said yes, despite the constant warning of the Bio Final on Tuesday, but I put my priorities in ordr, and decided to go say hi top my friend, and your son, Rory Brennan Zuba.  We got there, and went to the computer, and printed off a piece of paper saying where he was buried.  Grave 282, lot 30, section 26.  We looked until we found his mother`s and sister`s headstone.  I cleaned it`s weeds off, and began searching.  We eventually figured it out, sort of.  You see, we couldn`t find Rory`s headstone, but by using the numbered grave system, we figured out that he was just to the right.  Utilizing a stick, a rory forever band, and a bouquet of flowers, we created our own headstone.  If you go there tomorrow and find your wife`s grave cleared away, and the work of Jordan Hoffmann and I just to the right of it, then could you please take a picture of it for me?  I`m so glad we went yesterday, and even though I almost cried, would do it again if I could.
Peace, Love, and Good Vibes,
~Hayden
 
May 23, 2007
From Rory`s friend Hayden:
 
I remember much about my friend Rory.  His always fun loving attitude, his beautiful smile, his caring voice when he was trying to cheer you up.  I remember the first day of
school in Mrs. Griffin`s class when we were arranged alphabetically by last name, and Mrs. Griffin put Rory and I in the back, side by side, three amigos (Him, his ego, and
I). But most of all I remember this aura arround him.  It made mean words bounce off of him, foes become friends, and him to be the oxygen in a room.  He is a necessity to
life, and I know without him, I wouldn`t be the same person I am today.  You see, Rory became one of my best friends.  He was one of those people that I only dreamt of
having the honor to meet, know, and love such a person.  The way I remember him is through my different yearbooks, photos of yours, playing Zelda , I even have Rory
Zuba shrine above my tv in the livingroom (that`s where his spirit/ spirit award rest to me), and I have pictures and articles of his.  I have the ribbon from his memorial
service, and a picture on my fridge, an id thing with his picture for when we went to a state chess tournament and played for him.
 
Peace, love, and Good Vibrations,
~Hayden

May 20, 2007
From Rory`s friend Hayden:
 
I can`t help but be moved.  Every time I read a posting of yours, I have to look at some pictures in your photo album, remember, heal, grieve.  You know that I would love to collaborate and find a new way to remember my classmate, rival, and friend.  You know, maybe you`ve heard this story, I do not recall if I`ve told you it before, but I had my first challenge with Rory in 6th grade.  You see, for "march madness," since Mrs. Laskonis was pregnant, we had a long-term substitute in math class.  For about a week we had matches where we would play an intense math game to see who would win.  It was the finals and Rory and I were the two contenders.  He knew more than me, just a little bit more, but enough to intiminate me.  My only advantage was my quick finger.  I`d push the button, often times before I knew the answer, and by figuring out how much time I had and the question, I`d either guess or know the answer.  The first time we played, I was ahead by 300 points, a truly promsing lead.  Then, Joey Harson reaches his hand over, while only I was looking, and he pushes the reset button.  The screen goes blank and our substitute teacher tells us that there is "nothing he could do"  and we`d need to start another round.  We did, after much protest by myself and those who saw the incident, and I couldn`t help but feel left out.  I was ahead, I was going to win, I had him on the ropes, but as time goes on, I realized that Rory`s life was simply that to the effect of unstoppable.  Rory was impervious, he couldn`t lose even on a bad day.  And to tell you the truth, he didn`t.  He beat me by a close 40 points.  Later that day, in gym class, he was letting everyone know that Rory Zuba had slain the underdog, who had a glimpse of hope against this unstoppable giant.  I got angry for a few minutes, but forgave him due to his sharp wit, and humor.  He had beaten me, but I hadn`t really expected to win.  I just wanted to prove myself, and ever since that day we would talk more often, and joke around.  I guess you could say that was the beginning of our friendship.  Or maybe it was during all of the hustle and bustle of 5th grade graduation.  We both had last letter last names, and in line we would be caught having a jolly-good old time.  If you have ever read the novel A Separate Peace, you would think that Phineus was the equivalent of Rory, and I can place myself in Gene`s shoes.  This book describes the rise and fall of my good friend throughout roughly 1 and 1/2 years.  This is the time period that I got to really meet, and learn of, and enjoy Rory`s company. This novel depicts him perfectly, and you will find this true once you enjoy
A Separate Peace.  I will spread the word of this new way to remember Rory. 
God Bless you Tom, Shawn, and Rory, you three and your families are always in my heart and mind. 
 
Peace, Love, and Good Vibes,
~Hayden

 

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