In a sentence … for those of you that don’t know my history … my 18-month-old daughter Erin died suddenly in 1990, my 43-year-old wife Trici died suddenly in 1999 and my 13-year-old son Rory died from brain cancer on February 22, 2005.
In November of 2004, one week after Rory had brain surgery, as a way to stay in touch with my family, friends and an ever expanding circle...I started writing at www.caringbridge.org/il/rory. One year after Rory`s death ... as a way to honor the completion of his physical presence...I launched this site.
So… I have become a student of grief, and mourning, and living with death … and that road has brought me full-circle to believe that we are able to consciously create a full, joy-filled life … while living with loss - even the death of someone we love.
I post frequently on the Homepage. All kinds of topics. Thoughts. Feelings. Current events. Scroll down the Homepage to find previous entries. To read archived entries click the Read Journal History icon to the right of my photo on the Homepage. To learn more about me…and the journey I am on, please explore this site and visit www.caringbridge.org/il/rory.
If you`d like to ask me a question click Ask Tom. I`ll try and answer it on my homepage.
To attend a workshop I am facilitiating or hear me speak click You`re Invited.
To stay connected to us … and receive updates and announcements, please complete the Consciously Participate Form. (The site is filled with many, many hyperlinks... so click, click, click...and see where it takes you.)
Please visit our Guestbook. A group of kind, compassionate, open-hearted people ... people, who are learning to live with loss ... have transformed our Guestbook into a safe, sacred circle. You are welcome there, too. To read. To learn. To feel. And hopefully...when the time is right for you...to post something.
It`s been my experience that most of us are ill-equipped and ill-prepared to deal with death. It`s my hope that by sharing the wisdom I`ve gathered (and continue to gather) through my own journey through grief will make your journey different. I know that we can learn to live full, joy-filled lives even with the death of someone we love.
I don`t use the word closure.
I don`t suggest that we "move on." I do believe we will always be "moving with" the death of someone we love who has died.
I have found a few definitions that have helped me grasp what this journey is about.
When you are ready, I invite you to set some time aside to listen to me talk about my understanding of grief. And mourning. And denial. You will find that recording at "Exploring Grief, Mourning and the Gifts of Denial."
Tell us who you are. Tell us how you are doing today. What you are thinking. What you are feeling. Or simply take that first, often frightening step and just sign your name. We care. And we welcome you.
Namaste,
Tom
